The girls of Mathews Academy
by Kianney
Summary: <html><head></head>A story i wrote myself about a girl called Sarah who becomes a young spy at the age of thirteen. please tell me if you like it i would love to hear your feed back.</html>


Mathews Academy

Kianne Coltman

_**THE GIRLS OF MATHEWS Academy HIGH**_

_**CHAPTER**_

_**ONE**_

I open one of my eyes and looked at my alarm angrily. Groaning I sit up and slam my hand down on the alarms 'shut up' button before swinging my legs around and climbing unwillingly out of bed. I sigh annoyed as I slip on our hideous uniform and run in and out of the bathroom. "Good bye darling!" my mother shouts after me as I ran out the front door "Bye!" I called over my shoulder already half way down the drive way I waved at my best friend next door wildly as I jumped into her brother's BMW the drive to school is a short silent one and soon my best friend Beverley and I are standing looking at the gates.

"Come on Sarah" Beverley says she grabs me by the wrist and we weaved through the crowds to where our other two friends are standing laughing. Alley stands retying her thick brown waves while Nixy babbles on about her weekend. I don't pay much attention to what she is saying, the bells rings stopping her in mid-sentence so she can walk with me to our class. Beverly and Alley split up at the first staircase.

"Are you ok Sarah you are really quiet" Nixy asks looking at me with a raised eyebrow I don't know what is wrong with me she is right though I am quite but I just smiled at her and nodded. We walk quickly up stairs trying to make sure we will be there before our horrible teacher Mr Alistair. I pay no attention to the buzz of my class mates around me as we lead into the ice cold class room.

I take my seat silently as Mr Alistair walks in wearing a horrid sweater with a pair of grey pants and snake skinned shoes that make me want to gag. Toby a boy I've known for about three years takes his seat next to me still talking to his friend Andy across the class room. Mr Alistair slams his hands down hard on his desk top bringing our class to silence.

"Well I trust you won't be talking for the rest of my lesson" he says firmly looking at the boys he saw talking I am almost already drifting asleep and we haven't even started writing down notes with words that make no sense in my brain. Mr Alistair sets up the screen and lets us get started with our notes. For all I care they could be in Germen or Chinese because I don't understand them anyway. My leg bounces as I fight to stay awake until break.

"Hey?" someone hisses in my ear behind me I know who sits behind me and I know his voice so I don't have to turn around to know Johnny is the one trying to get my attention. I drop my pen onto my desk and turn slowly around to look at Johnny who's dark eyebrows are raised making his bright grey eyes look bigger. I can't help but smile at him no matter how hard I try to keep my mouth from twitching.

"What's wrong?" I ask looking at him with as board an expression I can manage. He gives me that smile with the dimples that makes every girl want to giggle and leans back in his chair with his hands folded behind his head. I look at him waiting for him to say something but he just stays like that occasionally rocking back on his chair as he watches me. I roll my eyes at him after a while and swivel in my chair again. I catch Annika's eye she gives me this smile and I know she just saw what happened but Johnny is still watching me so I just shrug and turn back to my notes as the bell frees us. No one bothers to wait for Mr Alistair to dismiss us and instead they storm out.

Johnny is by my side before I have even gotten up. I slip my blazer over my shoulders and almost gape as he picks up my bag for me Nixymakes this squeaky excited sound as we pass her slowly. Johnny walks with me behind the rest of the class I have this feeling in my stomach that makes me want to bounce around nervously but instead I walk silently by his side keeping my eyes on the floor.

"So I was thinking" Johnny starts almost making me jump I look at him in the corner of my eye and wait for him to keep talking. "We should go to the dance this weekend together" he says slowly but confidently. I freeze for a moment then continue walking with a ridiculous grin on my face. My cheeks are warm and I know I'm blushing but I look shyly back at Johnny and nod with a smile.

"Great" he says returning the smile we are at our next class and he puts both our bags down he touches my arm before being swept away with his friend I stand there for about a second before Nixyappears at my side beaming probably just like me.

"Guess what!" she squeals I look down at her wide eyed unable to say a thing "Daniel just asked me to the dance" she says bouncing up and down I smile at her and burst out "Johnny asked me" we jump up and down for a few minutes before Beverly and Alley appear they immediately guess what has happened and Beverly smiles and says "We have to go shopping this weekend"

We all nod in agreement happily. Alley was asked out by Andy and Beverly is going with her long term boyfriend so that is us all sorted date wise all me need now are the dresses. The rest of the day goes by in a blur I try to forget but when I get home I am so happy I bounce around the kitchen where my mother is cooking supper she looks at me surprised over the brim of her glasses. Her long blond ringlets are pulled up into a knot and her brown eyes twinkle as she smiles.

"Did you have a good day" she says watching me bounce around the room on my toes. I give her an enthusiastic nod and her smile widens. "Well then would you like to check the post for schools" she says I run over to the pile of post that was brought in earlier that day and I scratch through it till I find one from a school. I read the letter quickly

Dear Sarah Hill

Matthews academy high would love for you to attend our opening day on the 8 of December. Matthews academy has noticed you for your achievements and would be honoured to have you attend the boarding school for girls in Layton. We hope to see you at our entrance at 10:00 am

I read the letter out loud to my mother she gives me a weak smile. "Would you like to go to the open day?" my mother asks I nod with a quick smile I know she is worrying about the boarding school part but before I can assure her we are just looking Gavin my step father unlocks the heavy wooden door and steps in.

"Hello" he says he kisses my mother on the top of her head before he gives my shoulders a tight squeeze I smile back at him and sneak away to my room when he and my mother start to talk.

CHAPTER TWO

SHOPPING FOR THE DANCE

After school on Friday my Friends and I are all pilling into the back seat of Beverly's sister Mandy's car. Mandy has chestnut hair like Beverly's but unlike Beverly hers is cut short and her eyes are hidden by thick framed glasses her short legs are nothing like Beverly's lovely long ones but despite their differences Beverly and her twenty three year old sister who lives in her own house are very close.

"Hey guys!" Mandy says in her light voice as Beverly gets into the front seat of her sisters land rover. I sit in the middle at the back with Nixyon my right and Alley on my left. Beverly lets her long waves out of their bun they spread over her shoulders wildly making her look even prettier. None of us are in our school uniforms as we all thought to bring clothes to change into. I wear a denim jacket with Beverly's black lace top under it and a pair of dark skinny jeans.

Mandy's Land rover is smooth as we drive along on our way to the mall I rest my head back and smile as Beverly cranks up the music and we all sing along to the CD. I feel happy just watching my friends around me smile and giggle when they miss a note in the song. Soon Mandy pulls into a parking bay right outside the entrance of the mall. We all bound out the car Nixyis still giggling as we start the walk toward the first shop that comes to any teenage girls mind. We step into the shop the music is louder than in the other shops and the racks are stacked with clothes. A short girl with a tie and a pair of black glasses comes to us with a smile her bun on the top of her head is held by a single ribbon and it bounces as she walks.

Nixyand Alley start searching the racks as Beverly and I scratch through the shelves to see what we can find. Mandy is running around giving advice to all of us as we hold dresses against our selves. I have three dresses slung over my arm when we all stop to look at each other and decide. We try on together and I walk into the small changing room and turn to look in the mirror my hair is in a high pony but blond ringlets hang loos around my face my hands shake slightly as I put the first dress over my head and I know I need something to eat desperately. I step out my change room into the small passage where Mandy is sitting on a soft coach and Beverly is trying to adjust the straps on Annika's bright blue dress that suits her well. Beverly wears a light purple coloured dress that has a lace pattern on the back and a very low colour in front. I feel plain in the black dress I wear I don't have to ask to know this is the wrong dress.

I spin on my heels and try on the next dress in a hurry. Finally once we are all dead tired we walk out the shop with our dresses and accessories. My stomach grumbles and my throat is scratchy as we walk. "Let's grab something to eat?" I say as we turn a corner toward the restaurants. "Yeah I'm starved" Beverly agrees so we turn into the first restaurant without another word the smell of coffee fills my nose and my mouth starts watering almost immediately. We sit further to the back of the restaurant on the cold leather seats but I don't mind as my throbbing legs are only relieved not to have to walk around anymore. I scan the menu and put it down when I am sure what I want.

Our waitress comes to our table with her note book in hand she asks us what we want and then drifts off when we have all placed our orders. "So how Johnny" Alley asks me leaning forward putting her small face on her hands. I smile at her shyly with a small shrug I say "he's ok" Nixysnorts and leans forward too rocking her body a little she smirks with the pleasure of having information that they all want. "Well I would say he's better than ok" she says looking at me with excitement she really does enjoy this all the other girls leaning forward eager to be let in on the little secret.

"I can barely get close to Sarah anymore he is all over her!" she says slowly giving me a small smile I shake my head looking down embarrassed but the others just giggle. "So that means you guys are finally dating after all this time?" Alley says looking at me wide eyed. I am not sure how to answer her I hadn't really thought about dating Johnny so I just shrug and say "I guess so" as the waitress sets our drinks and food down in front of us. "Well then to us all dating Devas" Alley says raising her coke up in the air above her head. I smile and lift my coffee to tap her glass and we all giggle.

CHAPTER THREE

THE DANCE

I take my bag of overnight stuff and say good night to my mother and step father before I walk out the gate and over to Beverly's house. I stand outside her gate and wait for her to see me and open it I count _"one, two, three" _Before the green gate slides open and her heavy wooden door is flung aside letting light stream out. I smile at her and give her a quick hug I am the first here because I live right next door so we both walk up to her room side by side. I have been over to her house so many times I know it from back to front. I sit in her room on her shaggy rug she has set out a small table from downstairs with a bowl of nuts, chips and drinks for the four of us to have while we get ready. I run my hand over her soft rug as she puts music on.

"So you never told me. Do you really want to date Johnny?" Beverly asks sitting across from me and popping a nut into her mouth I think about it for a second but I can't be sure I don't think I want to date anyone to be honest. I shake my head "I really don't know Bev I guess I'll just see what happens" I say slowly hugging my knees to my chest. Before Beverly can say anything else Nixyburst through the door dropping her bag and let out an excited shriek. Beverly's father who let her in rolls his eyes and just walks away.

"We should start bathing while we wait for Alley" Beverly says I nod and Nixytakes the first turn in the shower. Beverly and I sit back down on her rug and wait in silence for Alley to arrive by the time she creeps up the stairs thanking Beverly's father Nixyhas already come out the bath room. She puts her bag down and smiles at us Nixyholds the towel around her firmly as she slips underwear on under it. "Sarah you can go in next" Beverly suggests I nod and step into the bathroom I run my bath water humming along to the song playing. I close the door shutting out the noise the other three are making out as best I can. I press my fingers to my temple my head is killing me but as I slid into the warm water it sooths me and I duck my head under it letting it wash over me making me feel so much better under the water everything is silent and I can hear my own thoughts.

I take my time as I wash up but as I lye back in the bath relaxing a little. Beverly's hand bangs on the door and she calls in "Hurry up Sarah Nixyis already ready" So I sigh and get out rapping a towel around my bare body after drying of, I only just step out when Alley sprints into the bathroom. I look at my other two friends Nixyhas her bubble gum pink dress on already and she is sitting at the dresser with a curling iron in her hair Beverly is standing behind her trying to curl the back of her hair as well as she can. I pull the purple dress I bought out my bag and slip into it easily. Beverly faffs with my hair while Nixymakes me keep very still so she can do my makeup.

Alley gets ready and Beverly dances around her room about a half hour latter we are standing taking pictures with each other I my bright green eyes look bugger because of the makeup and my lips have subtle shine to them. My hair flows down in thick waves.

"Let's get going or we'll be late" I suggest after a while so with Nixyand Alley walking ahead of Beverly and I we all climb into Bev's fathers car. The car is full of excited shrieks and giggles and I can't help but smile as I watch Alley jump away from Annika's finger because she is pretending to be smudging her makeup.

Bev's dad parks the car and turns to look back at us "Have fun" he says as we all jump out the car we wave good bye to him and when I turn around Johnny is standing right behind me I jump back in shock then laugh a little when he slides his fingers into mine and takes me inside. I have already lost sight of Nixyand Beverly but Alley I can see talking to Andy outside still. The ball room is decorated with happy holiday posters all around it and there is no light inside just dim lanterns the DJ booth has people all around it asking for song requests. I sigh lightly this was going to be the last dance I have here after seven years all of a sudden I feel sick to my stomach it is November soon the end of Primary school and I still have no idea where I will spend the next five years of my life.

"You ok?" Johnny asks me squeezing my hand I come out of my daze quickly and look back at him with a smile and I nod slowly. He lead me to the dance floor and soon we are dancing around clapping our hands to the music, jumping up and down, dancing in circles and groups. I smile and laugh but finally when a song I don't really like come on I go to the side for a little break my voice is straining from my shouting and singing along to the music and I feel so hot I have to wipe the beads of sweat of my for head with the back of my hand. I turn back to Johnny and say "I'll be right back I have to go to the bathroom" and with that I spin on my heels grab a cold coke from the snack table and head toward the bathroom.

I splash my face not caring about my makeup as it is water proof and I am just about to turn and leave to drink my cold drink out on the steps but I hear a girls voice telling someone to stop crying and pull herself together. I freeze recognizing Ally's voice she has never sounded so stern before so I sneak closer I know I can't stand right outside her cubicle so I slip into the one right next door and press my ear to the wall. I hear a little sniff and I am almost sure it is Nixybut I keep quit and carry on listening. "Take a deep breath and tell me what in the world problem is" Alley hisses when she uses that tone she sounds almost mean. "I… I don't know" Annika's chocked voice mutters back I imagine her sitting on the lid of the toilet with wet eyes and Alley looking at her with a hard expression. "Well you had best start speaking or I will go get Sarah" Alley says softer now "No! Please don't" Nixybegs her I feel a pang in my stomach I don't know why she doesn't want me there but I push my ear closer eager to hear the reason.

"It's Johnny" Nixysighs sniffing a little I fight off the erg to gasp "What happened" Alley says sounding as sweet as honey again. "We… We kissed" Nixyanswered slowly she sounds ashamed but I frown down at my hands how could she have done that when did she have the time to. "When in the world did that happen?" Alley asks slowly I hear them shuffle a little before Nixyspeaks again "A few days after her asked her to the dance… I don't know what happened it just did and I tried to pull away I did! But he wouldn't let me" she say I sit down slowly on the toilet Nixywas very good at hiding it I think about how she was telling Alley and Bev about us and I wonder why she never said anything. "He won't even look at me now but tonight when I saw them I realized…. I like him" Alley is silent probably not sure what to say next but I can hear Nixysniff again.

"Why do you two like him in any case he's a jerk he has history with almost every girl and now this he even has history of two timing now" Alley said firmly "I am going to get Sarah she won't be mad it was not your fault" I hear more shuffling and the cubicle door swinging shut before the main bathroom door. I hesitate only a second before I sneak out as well leaving Nixylocked in her cubicle. I don't know what I was going to do but I just walk around outside trying to clear my head if Nixycan cry over the boy because she can't handle seeing me being with him she must like him a lot more than I do.

I wonder why Alley hadn't warned me about his reputation I had no idea he had history with a number of girls. I don't feel sad or angry as I walk around maybe it's because my feelings for him are not strong or because I know it was not Nixy's fault.

"Sarah!" I turn around to see Alley walking fast toward me I try to look casual as I click open my can of coke and say "What's wrong" Alley comes closer to me she puts her hand on her gut and takes a few deep breaths like she's been running before she starts telling me the story I nod and try make it as convincing as possible and it must have worked because she finishes off by saying "She's in the bathroom you should come talk to her" I nod sipping my coke I follow Alley back to the bathroom and into the cubicle where Nixy is still sitting but she has dry cheeks her nose is red and her eyes puffy but other than that I wouldn't have been able to tell she had been crying.

"I'm sorry Sarah I am such a terrible friend" she say looking away I can't help but laugh "You make it all so dramatic" I say taking another sip of coke Nixylooks at me with one raised eyebrow but I just shrug "It's not such a big deal I don't like him that much so you could go out with him if you want" I say slowly

"No neither of you can because he's a jerk and he has to be forgotten about" Alley says sternly I look at her a little shocked I am surprised she has such a stern voice hidden away behind her honey sweet one. I look away again and the say "Well let's go make this the best dance we've ever had at this school" Nixy nods and smiles getting up slowly and the three of us leave the bathroom together "Hey do you guys know where Bev disappeared to?" I ask them as I put my arms around their shoulders they both shake their head as we walk into the ballroom I snort when I see Johnny dancing with Kimberly a girls from our grade.

The next morning I wake up next to Beverly in her double bed I sit up blinking in a daze at the bright sunlight that shines through her curtains. I glance over her to look at the clock it is already eight thirty on Sunday and the memories of the night before at the dance come flooding back to me. I climb over Beverly to get out trying my best not to disturb her I hear hard metal music and I know her brother is awake but other than that the house is silent. I step into the bathroom yawning as I look into the mirror my eyes still have smudged makeup on it and I bend over the sink to scrub it off as best I can. I straighten up and brush my teeth as I dance around the bathroom out of habit.

Beverly comes in walking like a zombie moments after she scratches her head and gives me a nod of greeting I smile back at her and spit one more time before putting my toothbrush away in my bag. I dress into my clothes and say good bye to Bev I promised I would go home as soon as possible this morning so I don't hesitate before I go back home. I type in the code for our gate and it slides open before I can run up the driveway I pick up the post and tuck it under my arm. I look over my shoulder making sure there is no one in the street to see me take the key out from under a small pot plant.

I unlock it and step into the kitchen where Gavin is standing making tea. My mother sits on the sunny part of the lounge coach with her legs tucked under her. she has a book in her hands her hair is brushed but other than that she looks as though she just woke up she is wearing her pyjamas. She pushes her glasses further up her nose before looking up at me and smiling "Good morning" she says Gavin walks from the kitchen to the lounge and hands her a cup of tea as he gives me a smile. I smile back but say nothing as I sit down on the soft coach.

"We're going to that open day next week" my mother says slowly "The one to the boarding school" I nod not sure if I am glad about that or not but I smile at her. I turn on the TV and we all fall silent.

Chapter FOUR

The holiday

The week flies by so quickly before I know it I am sitting in the back seat of our car it is packed and ready for our trip it would be a nine hour drive to the city Layton but we are on the way to the airport so the flight cuts it back to about one hour. The ride to the airport is long so I put my head back on the headrest and watch as cars speed past my window I think about the seven years I have spent at my other school I think how I will miss my friends and I will miss everything from this city and I am almost sure I won't choose this High school. I want to go to the one all my friends will be going even if it means I can't start a fresh.

The car jolts to a stop bringing me back to reality we are in the parking bay for cars that will stay here while their owners go on holiday. I jump out and grab my wheel bag and I roll it as I follow my mother and Gavin into the airport we go through security and check in easily and soon I am sitting next to my mother on the plain it takes off and I watch the clouds fly past us I can see our city below us but as we go further up the smaller things become and soon it just looks like brown and green land. For an hour I sit with a magazine on my lap not really reading it I just page through it.

My mother decided I would miss the last two weeks of school so this could be a holiday at the sea. Soon the plain feels like its dropping as it lands and I get jostled around as 'it hits the ground. The doors open and people jump up and starts walking out my mother, Gavin and I all sit waiting for the other people to leave us space so we can stand and slowly make our way off the plane into the airport I feel a little nervous for no reason exactly. The open day is only tomorrow so I have nothing to be worried about now.

"Come on" my mother says she puts her arm around me and guides me toward the luggage pick up zone. We don't stand there for long before we have our luggage and can leave the airport. My stomach is grumbling as we walk out the door of the airport and take the small car we have rented for the time we are here. I slip into the back seat silently I feel as though I am in a daze like I am not really awake. The car rumbles beneath me it small and light as it drives I lie my head back and open the window I let the air rush over my face pushing bits of my hair around. I force my eyes to stay open and they water as the cold wind dries them.

Gavin turns the corner and I almost go flying to the other side of the car but I put my hand firmly on the handle to hold myself in place. Gavin seems to know where he is going he did grow up in this city after all. The hotel we will be staying is not to fancy but I don't mind as long it is clean. I must have fallen asleep because my eyes open and we parked in a parking lot outside a yellow building that needs a paint job badly. I look around my mother is by my side opening the door.

"Come on we're here" she says opening the door wider so I can swing my legs around and climb out the small car. I look up at the building it has plenty floors and some rooms have balcony's but not all of them. Gavin comes around from the boot of the car and hands me my wheel bag. I set it down with a small smile as thanks to him and start toward the entrance. The lobby is warm it has a red carpeted floor and coaches with tables between them some tables have games on them like chess and people sit across from each other playing the game.

A woman with blue framed glasses sits behind a wooden check in desk. She gives us a brilliant smile with dimples and teeth as we approach her hair is cut short into a bob till the edge of the jaw she has a little clip with a bow on top of it keeping her bang away from her pale face. My eyes feel puffy and they are probably red I am tired but I still force myself to smile at the woman. She stands and I can see she is short with stumpy arms and legs.

"Well how can I help you?" she says looking at Gavin with big eyes.

"We booked two rooms for the week" My mother says slowly the woman shifts her attention to my mom and takes off her glasses "What name's the booking under?" the woman asks as she looks down at a book on her desk.

"Ah Avalon" my mother says her own name the woman nods as she runs her index figure along names in the book. "O h here it is" the woman says slowly straightening "Yup room thirty one and two" She says she opens a draw under desk and slip out two room keys she hand them to my mother and says "Second floor" with a small smile. My mother nods and we walk over to the elevator just around the corner I watch look down at my shoes on the carpeted floor of the elevator. The doors slide open silently and we step out into the corridor Gavin sees our rooms almost immediately my room is room thirty two which has a door leading into my mother's and Gavin's room.

The rooms are exactly identical with a white double bed a red throw at the bottom a small bathroom and a little kitchen. I sigh feeling tired as I lye back onto the soft bed I don't remember falling to sleep, but my phone vibrates in my pocket making me jump awake I slip my iPhone out and look down at the screen. Beverly's name is across the top with a picture of her smiling that I took when we went for lunch not so long ago. I don't hesitate for a second before answering it and pressing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I say into the phone I sound groggy from my nap still but I clear my throat. I look down at my watch feeling disorientated its already five o'clock and the sun is starting to set. "Sarah how, are you?" Beverly asks I can't be sure but I think she's been crying. I shrug even though she can't see me and say "Fine what's up Bev?" I ask her I look over at the door that leads to my mother's room and wonder if she is still in there. "He broke up with me" Beverly says it sounds like she is trying to fight off the tears I gasp knowing she mean Allen the boy she has been dating for to years.

"Oh Bev" I say I think of what I would say if I was with her, I would probably make her a cup of hot chocolate and watch some stupid funny move or feel good movie to try and make her forget it. But I am not with her and I am not sure how you comfort someone over the phone so I take a deep breath and try my best "Don't worry Bev now you don't have a boy holding you back" I say thinking how she always made time for him and all her friends "Now you're life won't be as stress full" I continue I am not sure if I am even helping at all.

"No you don't understand" she says sounding a little more stable now "He left me for Claire" her voice crashes again making her sound weak. "Oh god" is all I can manage Claire is the girl that is known to have many different names in our grade like, two faced brat or rich little bitch but most of all she is simple the grades biggest slut. Beverly is probably thinking that girls better than her which is so a lie. "Well if he is that _stupid _you shouldn't spend another minute thinking about him" I say firmly the way she did when a similar thing happened to me with my ex- boyfriend Drake who ended up dating another girl at the same time as me.

"I know it's just that.." Beverly starts but I know what she is going to say about how she misses him and all that so I stoop her before she can "Bev do both of us a favour go make yourself a cup of hot chocolate curl up on your coach and watch a really good movie" I say looking down at my hands. "You're right" I hear her sniff then say "Thanks Sarah" and then she puts down the phone. This is exactly why I can't go to the school here I really shouldn't because my friends need me and I need them. II put my phone down and knock on my mother's door but no one answers so I open the door quietly and step in I look around their things are unpacked there is no one in the bathroom and my mother's hand bag is gone but I look over at the dresser and see a small note on it.

I pick it up but all it says is _gone out didn't want to wake you_. I put the note back down I don't really mind being alone besides I need to shower any way. So I go back to my room and stand under the shower in silence the water is warm and helps me wake up a little I spend at least an hour in the shower and when I finally get out and put on clothes my mother and Gavin are in the other room. I step in and see Gavin lying on the bed with a book in his hand and my mother brushing her hair.

"Did you sleep well?" she asks looking up at I nod with a faint smile. "We want to go out for dinner and we should probably leave now" my mother says as she puts the brush down and she zips up her hand bag. We go to a restaurant not too far from the hotel it is warm inside but dark and there I a jazz band playing music softly in the corner. I am so hungry I don't even taste the food that goes into my mouth. My mother and Gavin hold their hands on the table silently. I have to look away from their joined hands because I remember only once seeing my mother and father do it I have no doubt in my mind that they didn't love each other it's just I don't really remember my father. In fact I only really have seen pictures and been told some stories but my mother doesn't talk about him any more I am not sure why I suppose it is for Gavin's benefit. I stare off into the distance my mother and Gavin have a strange connection that I doubt I will ever understand.

I barley know Gavin and sometimes I wonder how well my mother knows him. He never really talks to me I was very young still when he moved in with my mother but not once in my entire life have I ever called him dad. I am not sure why not I guess because I know he isn't my father and I know I loved my real dad and even though I don't remember him much I know Gavin is nothing like him. I wonder how my life would be different if my father was still alive? Would we even know Gavin? Would I be much like my father? Maybe I wouldn't feel like the third wheel in my family I might even have had a younger sibling?

"Sarah?" my mother calls me out of my fantasy my head snaps to look at her I frown when I realize they are already getting up to leave. I stand and follow them out into the cold night I shiver and wrap my arms tightly around my body as I slip into the car. "Are you ok Sarah you seem a little distracted?" my mother asks twisting round in her seat to look at me I look into her brown eyes and almost tell her I was just thinking about dad but I am not sure how she would react. I guess it would upset her so instead I smile and shrug my shoulders as I say "No I'm fine"

The next morning I woke up to my mother shaking me awake I look up at her almost mad that she is waking me up so early but then I remember the open day. It is already eight o'clock and I know the school is not too far. So I take my time to slip on a pair of jeans and a white blouse with black pumps. I walk slowly down to the car behind my mother Gavin seems to know exactly where the school is so I just watch the buzzing city around me. I look at the ocean in the horizon and remember when I was younger how I would have nagged that mom take me to the beach to swim until she couldn't take it anymore and when we were there I would never want to leave telling my mother one last swim every time she suggested we go.

I lift my head and look around us I realize we are outside the school which is separate from the city but not far away from it. There is another school that is like its neighbour but other than that there is no building around. The school is large it looks old but well-kept it has pretty iron gates that stand open for us to slowly dive in. There are two steps that take you up to the massive buildings door way which is... Beautiful, there are flowers in the gardens and trees all over. I am stunned as I look around the impressive grounds.

"It's amazing" I whisper I didn't mean for anyone to hear, just me but my mother frowns and says "Yes quit" knowingly I ignore how negative she sounds about the place like she is not happy to be here. There are girls spread out over the place some of them play others climb trees, go for walks, ride bikes but every single one of them has seen our car and are peering at us suspiciously. I open my door and climb out slowly I look at my mother's back she seems tense as she looks at the children playing around her. Gavin comes to her side and wraps his arm around her shoulders as if he is trying to assure her or comfort her.

I walk up the brick path my pumps making a nice sound on the floor as I walk behind them. There are three girls standing at the entrance. Two stand on one side of the door and the other on the opposite side. One of them smiles at us as we approach them "Hello I am Bethany" she says she has thick brown hair that is so dark it looks almost black her hair is held back with a band probably because her waves are to fierce to tie back. She has freckles spread out across her face and instead of making her face look spotted it only makes her look beautiful she has grey eyes that have a darker blue wring around them.

I shake her extended hand with a smile "I'm Sarah" I say she nods and turns to her friends "This is Sasha- she says as she looks over her shoulder to a thin girl with bright pink framed glasses Sasha has bronze colored skin and black hair that is short her eyes are a gold brown colour and she is much shorter than Bethany who is just below my height. And this is Clue" she continues pointing to the third girl who has hair much like mine blond and long she has it up in a high pony her eyes are piercing blue her skin flawless and milky and her smile perfect. I feel a pang of envy go through for this girls beauty but I shove it aside almost angry.

"We will show you to the principal's office" Sasha says in a shy voice but I give her a small smile and nod of thanks. The three girls turn and we follow them into the building I look around taking in the wooden paneling and beauty of the place the first room we stand in is a dining hall it has rows of tables everywhere and some girls sit quietly with each other. The carpets are a bright red they are soft and our footsteps are silent on them. We go through a pair of large doors into another big room but this one has staircases on the left and right. They are oak with the same red carpet going up them. The space around the stairs has doors everywhere with name tags on them so I suppose they are offices. Girls skip past us giving us strange glances but never stopping to talk to us.

We stop outside a door that has the label Principle. Bern I look up at the door and back at Bethany who knocks firmly twice at the door. We wait about two seconds before the door opens and a woman who is about twenty nine to thirty opens it she is tall and slender with honey coloured hair and lively green eyes and she wears a smile when her eyes rest on our faces. The woman wears a blue skirt with a blouse and a cardigan she is very pretty and looks a little too young to be running the school.

She extends her arm to my mother and Gavin first. Her eyes seem to twinkle as she smiles at them and my mother smiles back but it looks strained Gavin however seems at ease when he shakes her hand and introduces themselves. Her gaze shifts back to me and her smile seems to widen when she offers me her hand to shake I look down at her hand and remember my father asking me to shake his hand when I was younger he told me when I meet people I must stand with my shoulders back and look them in the eye when I firmly shake their hand. I take these instructions into account as I slip my hand into hers. "Well" she says stepping back and looking at my mother again "I trust you found your way alright?" she says slowly my mother nods stiffly and Gavin says casually "yes". "Good" she says then her attention is back on me "Sarah I asked these young ladies to be the ones to show you around because if you choose to attend this school they will be your room mates" I look over my shoulder at the girls all three smile at me Bethany with a bit of a wicked touch. "So while I talk to your… Parents I would love for them to show you around the school" she says hesitating on the word parents and I wonder why and then it occurs to me that she knows Gavin is not my father but how could that be possible?

My mother tenses for a moment then walks into her office eagerly with Gavin following behind her. I watch the door close before I turn to the other three girls. "I think we will have great fun" Bethany says with a smile. "I still am not sure I am coming to this school" I say looking back at her a little surprised Bethany and Clue exchange a glance before bursting out in laughter. "What?!" I demand them "Nothing" Bethany says "We can talk about that later" she says. "Now come with us we will show you around" Clue says.

I step into line with the girls Bethany and Clue to my right and Sasha to my left. "Well you've seen the front and the dining hall where we have all our meals" Clue says listing what I have seen "This is the room where all our teachers' offices are" Sasha adds in a quiet voice as we start up the left stairway. Girls dodge us as they run around up with their normal lives. "So these are the dorm rooms" Bethany says when we reach the top of the stairs I look right seeing a long passage with rows of doors everywhere then I turn to my left where I see the rest of the doors and a dark nook. "There are more floors just like this one if you continue going up" Clue explains

"But right at the top are common rooms for us" Bethany chimes in cheerfully "Oh and the library" Sasha adds in "Do you want to see it?" she asks looking up at me when I look down at her I see her eyes look hopeful. I am about to say sure but Clue says "Come look at the room you will be in" and pulls me forward up another flight of stairs and then into the room on our extreme right. I look around the room it has four beds I can tell easily which ones are occupied The one closest to the door has a pile of books on it, the one against the wall to my right has a shelf far above it with personal items and the one that has its head pushed against the window has headphones and an iPod lying on it. The fourth bed is diagonally placed in the corner there is a small shelf above it that is empty.

The room is really big even though there are four beds it is still has space to move freely there is a bookshelf that is pressed against the wall that has a radio on the top with CD's and then books everywhere the wardrobes are two large ones that are split evenly so that two girls can use one. I smile at it I could see myself be happy here becoming best friends with them going to dances I think I would be really happy but there is one problem I am already happy.

"It's very nice" I say slowly as I look at Bethany she nods agreeing with me. "Well let's show her the rest" Clue says they march me down stairs and outside Sasha stops when we are around the back of the building "We call the building we were just in home base, or the dorm house but that one is where all the classes take place" she says pointing not far into the distance I can see the building it would be a ten to fifteen minute walk in the morning but the gardens are so beautiful I don't think I would mind it. Bethany smiles in to space as if she is remembering something that makes her happy then she clasps her hand around my elbow with her strong hand and pulls me away from where I stand. We walk along paths that must have taken forever to be laid down then she lets go of my hand when we stand outside some kind of barn I look up at it not sure what is inside but since the other girls are waiting for me to open the door I put my hand flat against each door and push it open.

I freeze when I step inside and I understand why the others waited for me to open it, so they could see my reaction to the rows of horse stables. Most of the horses have their heads over the door of their stall I look amazed at the beautiful beasts so shock I want to laugh what in the world would this school need horses for and not just horses but the strongest, most beautiful horses I have ever seen some of the stalls don't have horses in them but they have fresh hay and water so I am almost one hundred present sure it is not because they don't have horses to fill them.

"Why horses?" I ask not turning away from them. Bethany laughs at the way my voice sounds so shocked and Clue answers "We ride them" I shake my head "For what?.. fun" I ask or perhaps it is a school sport I am not sure. "No we have no choice it is part of our curriculum" Sasha says slowly. I try to picture her fragile body on the back of a strong, huge horse like one of these. "But we can ride them if we want just for fun I mean" Clue adds her fingers running through a black horses fur. I frown how can thirteen year old girls ride horses for fun without any super vision I wonder but then I realize they are taught how to ride and are supervised then so if they do it outside of school it is their responsibility not to wander to far. "We aren't allowed to ride alone" Sasha says almost picking the thought out of my mind.

"Oh" I say that does make a lot more sense I think. "Oh there's one more thing we have to show you" Beth says she starts walking away from the barn there is another not to far away and before I can ask if there are more horses Bethany points to it and says "PE barn" but she does not stop walking. We reach another building and Bethany opens the glass door the smell of salt hits me as soon as I walk in. I look at the glistening water of a large training pull with lain ropes in it, but there is another pull a little smaller and it is more for fun and splashing around.

"Beth!" Someone shouts from my right and I turn to look at a girl who is relaxed in a hot tub her arms are hanging over the edge of the tub glistening with water. Another girl sits across from her with a smile she turns to look at Beth. Bethany waves to the two of them but she does not go over there to talk to them. I feel warm in here as the pools steam rises warming the air all around us. I glance around at the girls but I don't see a single life guard in site however the notice board says:

Be careful in pool area

Do not run

Be aware of the people around you

No swimming after six

"We should be heading back to see the principle is ready to see you" Sasha says after a while I nod and walk with them all the way back to the office where I started off. My mother and Gavin come out only moments after we reach the office my mother has a blank expression but Gavin looks as relaxed as usual. "Well girls if you would show them around while I chat to Sarah that would be wonderful" the girls nod eagerly like they live for showing off their beautiful school. I look at my mother but she does not smile encouragingly at me instead Gavin is the one who smiles and nods. So I turn and step into the office it has a desk with a table cloth draped over it and on her desk is a vase with flowers in it and a file along with some stationary but nothing else. The room has bookshelves everywhere with files and books on them and a man stands leaning on one shoulder in the corner he has dark hair and even darker eyes but they look kind, scary but kind.

"You can take a seat Sarah honey" The principle says gesturing to the two leather seated arm chairs across from her desk. I smile too shy to say _"Thank you" _to her as I sit down. "This is Mr Stevens" she says but she does not look at the man "He helps me run this school" she adds and I understand know how she manages. "Before we start would you like a glass of water?" she asks me I didn't notice the water flask in the corner of the room but when she brings my attention to it my throat burns with thirst.

"Yes please" I say nodding slowly she pours me a glass and sets it down in front of me I take a few sips and set it back down. "Did you see the whole school" she asks sitting in her chair and leaning her elbows on her desk I nod smiling a little thinking of how big it is compared to my school. "Well Sarah I am not sure you noticed but this is a very different school" she starts slowly sounding almost careful of what she is saying "And at this school we have exceptionally bright and strong girls who are progressing into becoming very bright strong young women" She says a little faster than she spoke before.

"You see Sarah at this school you learn all the same things you would at any other school but much more" she says I sip more water not sure where this is going "You see at this school our girls are pushed to be the best to their ability" I nod looking into her warm eyes "We teach our girls how to survive in the world" she says I am waiting for her to get to the point "To survive in our world" she says and I can't help but raise an eyebrow "The world of… spies" she pauses and I feel my eyes widen and then before even thinking a laugh escapes my mouth. I try to stop myself but I can't I think of the last person who told me about spies, my mother she used to tell me stories about them but that was it stories.

I look back at the principle but her eyes rest on me firmly and she does not laugh with me before I can say anything else movement catches my attention from the corner of my eye. I swivel to see Mr Stevens let a knife fly. I duck so the knife will not hit me in the head it goes whizzing past me over the top of my head. I feel a rush of fury surge through me I look over my shoulder at the knife that is firmly in bedded in the door that could have been my head I think I whip my head back around and shove the fear of standing up to two adults out of my mind as I slam my hands on the desk and standing up. "What the hell!" I demand staring at Mr Stevens who smirks a little and shrugs like it was no big deal but I think it's a big deal.

My entire body shakes with adrenalin and fury all at once "That could have ended up in my head if I hadn't ducked!" I snap through gritted teeth I am trying to control my temper I have always been scary when I am angry but it doesn't happen often or easily. I won't be the first to break the staring contest I have with Mr Stevens. "So know do you believe we are spies?" he asks slowly, casually like he didn't just hurl a knife across the room at a thirteen year old girl. My hand are still pressed against the desk but I push away from it and look him straight in the eye "I have no idea what kind of sick game you are playing but I sure as hell will find out!" it comes out the way I expect a snake to sound if it were to talk, dangerous, quiet and venomous it scares me but the principle looks over her shoulder at Mr Stevens for the first time I got into the office and she smiles and he gives her an approved nod. I am starting to cool down a little I control my breathing so it is not so unsteady and force my body to be still.

"I was not sure you were the right Sarah Hill when you stepped onto the property and I was not sure you were your father's daughter when you walked into my office until about two minutes ago and now I know I have made the right choice in inviting you here to ask you to please consider coming to this school." Principle Bern says slowly as she rises from her chair she extends her hand to me one last time, I hesitate knowing she means this as a silent promise that I will consider coming to this school. I want to stop myself I do I have to think of what I will be leaving at home but then I think of all that I will be joining so I extend my hand and look her in the eyes as I shake it.

Mr Stevens guides me out and nods to me with a small smile I wonder what they see in me that makes them think I can be a spy. My mother and Gavin are standing outside my mother looks just as tense as she had when I'd gone in. I want to ask her what the matter is but Bethany, Clue and Sasha come to say good bye.

"We hope to see you soon Sarah" Bethany says in this knowing tone but then her tone changes to more of a sneaky, naughty kind of one as she turns and looks at the school I noticed as we drove in "We forgot the most important part of the tour" she says "The boys school" Clue finishes for her and the two of them give me naughty smiles that I can't help but smile back when I notice Sasha rolling her eyes.

"Bye" they say as I climb back into the small rental car. I feel shaken up like it was a dream that I just woke up from. I mean spies for goodness sakes! But I think of the way Mr Stevens threw his knife across the room with ease and how strong both Clue's and Bethany's hand felt when they dragged me around. I think about how they giggled when I told them I was not sure I wanted to go to that school how they almost assumed I would choose it and lastly how tense my mother was as soon as we set foot on the property and I know it's true.

That night I sit on my hotel bed with my legs crossed and my laptop on my lap my hands fly over the keyboard as I type in the word SPIES I feel anxious as I scroll down but not much tells me about real spies. I hear my mother's shower water stop and I only realize I have been listening this whole time when I shut my computer and wiggle down under the covers and pretend to sleep. I was right to though because my mother slips in quietly and brushes a strand of hair out my face. She brushes my cheek with the back of her hand I feel my computers wait lift and I hear it being set down then she is gone. I sit up automatically looking at the shut door that separates our rooms.

I can hear Gavin's hushed voice and I quietly slip out of bed to press my ear to the door trying to hear what hear what is saying. I am not afraid they will hear me breathing through the door and over their own voices but I still try to breathe silently. I hear pacing quick steps but light on the wooden floors. "I have to know what that… Woman said to her" my mothers voice is strong when she says that I frown why would my mother care what a Principle says to a future pupil. Possible future pupil! I shout at myself in my head I decide to go back to listening.

"You don't even know they told her" Gavin's voice is rough when he speaks to her I have never heard him use that ton then I think tell me what that it's a school for spies.. No it can't she wouldn't tell them… would she? "But what if she chooses that school?" my mother asks sounding softer now defeated. "Then she honors him after all she is both your child and his" Gavin says slowly "Yes and what if she finds out?" my mother snaps back I flinch what if she finds out what I wonder. "You can't keep her own blood and destiny a secret from her she will find out if she chooses to go or not" Gavin says "I know but she is not ready to know" My mother insists. "She is and I think you know she is you just don't want to admit it" Gavin says back he sounds reasonable but my mother doesn't seem to care "What are you insinuating?" My mother snaps furiously at him "That she is ready the person who is not ready is you" Gavin says his voice sounds strained and tired.

I can't listen anymore no matter how badly I need to know what they are talking about I have to get some rest now any way. So I lye back down this time I feel drained and exhausted I let the crazy events of the day whiz around my head freely and soon I drift off to sleep.

CHAPTER FIVE

I AM A SPY

I sit in my room looking down at the pictures I dug up from the boxes that my father left for me in his will. I'd been thinking about what happened over the holidays since I got back which was only two days ago and it occurred to me that almost all everyone spoke about was my father I remember how Principle Bern said they could see I was my father's daughter and how my mother and Gavin whispered things about me honoring him. So that's how I ended up needing to find out more about my father I'd locked my door once I'd managed to drag two of the many boxes up stairs.

I sorted through piles of pictures, of my father with his parents as a child, with my mother, with friends I do not know. But a few pictures stand out to me, one where my dad has his arm around another boy both of them smiling in their teens, and another where my father stands next to Gavin they stand close with their shoulders brushing and I know what it means they were best friends. But how I never got the impression Gavin so much as knew my father let alone was his best friend and on top of that what kind of best friend marries their dead best friend's wife.

I sigh going through another pile of pictures I pull out ones that catch my attention I don't know why those ones do until I have sorted through the stake twice I push the remaining pictures aside. I look down at the pictures I pull out of the pile, one of the pictures are of my father as a child about twelve with a little girl by his side she looks about seven or eight. I look closer to the picture who is that girl? I move on to the next picture of my father standing next to what looks what appears to be the same girls and his parents outside the gates of their house and my entire body stiffens as the parts in my brain click I have just sorted through a stake of family photos this girl has to be a relative but I don't remember and aunt ever being mentioned.

I try not to think it but I can't help but wonder if she died before I could meet her. I know what I have to do I have to place the stake of family photos in order to know how old she was the last time my father took a picture with her. My hands fly through the stake again thinking of how her face changes when I am done three stakes are spread out covering half my bedroom floor and I have to stand to see all of the pictures. I look at the first picture of them when they are both still under the age of nine. It progresses slowly and I know this woman can only be my aunt there are pictures of her and my mother and father. Not even my mother has mentioned her though so maybe she was dead before she could meet- but I stop the train of thought because there is proof sitting right in front of me that she did in fact meet me there is a picture of my mother and father standing on either side of her as she cradles me in her arms unless that is not me and I have a cousin I think, it is not unusual for cousins to look a lot alike when they are still so small.

I pick up the picture scanning the baby I know exactly for what, my birthmark is small but you can still see it, it is in a shape I have always thought of as a butterfly on my left wrist it is brown so it is barely notice able unless you are looking for it which I am so I am great full that in the picture both my hands are raised. Yes it is in fact me I look so small I think carefully I was about five or six when my father died I look a lot younger in this picture about one or two. I frown so did my aunt die before or after my father I assume she died because if she was so close to my father she surely would not abandoned the two of us when we needed help the most. Though there is that small chance that for some reason she did not want to be with us.

I look at the last picture and bite my nails maybe it is just the similarities I see between my father and aunt but I recognise her I just don't know from where. I sigh this is not helping me I am only becoming more stressed and confused I think as I walk over to my bed I lay down resting my head at the bottom of my bed and staring at the ceiling. Why does my aunt matter so much anyway she is probably dead I don't know how to answer that question however I am the only one that can all I know is she seems important to find out. I sigh and roll over to lie on my stomach with my head hanging over the edge with my arms.

Then I see it a picture that has slipped under my bed face down my fingers feel as though they are twitching as I reach for it I flip it over not sure what to expect my heart thumps as I look down at the picture. My mother and father stand behind me with their hands joined just above my head they hold each of my hands with their spare ones and to my father's right is Gavin who looks as though his arm resting on my father's shoulder and to my mother's left is my aunt kneeling on the floor so she can wrap and arm around my tiny waist.

This is all I need I think now I have proof that Gavin knows my father he will have no choice but to answer. I know that I can't do it with my mother around because it is like an unspoken law in our house not to talk about my father. I will have to wait for an opportunity but in the mean time I will continue to search. The two boxes I have are unpacked completely so I select the pictures, of my father with Gavin as a teen and the last picture of my aunt before I a pack the others away with shaky hands. I peek out my door my mother is in her bedroom watching TV on her bed while Gavin is doing something downstairs. I sneak out forcing my footsteps to be mute as I walk.

I stand before the towering boxes in the garage my mother barely ever comes in her and I suspect it is because of the pain of looking at these boxes. I run my fingertips along them until I have chosen a heavy one that is difficult to carry upstairs without being caught but I manage and I smile with triumph as I set it down on my bed. I work the lid of slowly and throw it to the top of my bed. I peer inside but decide to close my eyes instead and reach in and pull something out, whatever it is it is cold but my fingers close around it and I easily pull it free from the box. I open my eyes to see a delicate silver chain wrapped around my had and on the end is a rather large circle with a clock face on it I press it against my palm and something clicks and I think I have broken it when it swings open but I realize it is a locket.

A picture of my aunt is on the right and on the left is my father but there is something else the back of the clock face bulges and I push my finger nail under it making it easily pop open a little piece of paper falls out into my palm it is folded up so it could be jammed into the back of the clock I touch it gently afraid it will tear if I am to rough it is yellow with age and as I open it I see it has rips on the edges. I look at the writing I am not sure if I recognize it but it must be my fathers because the letter says: to my dearest sister Theresa I have to squint my eyes to read the name but that is all I can read the rest of the writing has faded.

I sigh at least I am getting somewhere I slip the chain over my neck the clock is not working so I rummage through my draw to find my watch and get the battery out of it. The battery fits in perfectly and I just had to adjust it so it is telling the right time. I walk slowly back to the box with the necklace tucked under my blouse pressing against my skin make me a colder. I put my hand into the box and pull something soft out. I look down it's a school shirt I try to read the name something like S. Johns school for boys I wonder why the t in st is left out. But I put the shirt back down. There is not much else in the box old CD's some books I think they might all be things he put in his room at his school but I don't know for sure.

"Sarah" my mother shouts up the stairs from somewhere down stairs I freeze for only a moment then grad the box and shove it under my bed just in time because as I straighten up my mother is standing in the door way frowning a little "What are you doing" she asks looking at me "Nothing just putting a book away I say luckily I am standing next to my night stand that has some of my favourite books in it. My mother smiles a little and nods "Well I came to ask if you wanted to the shops with me you don't have to you can stay with Gavin if you want?" my mother continues. I would on any other day want to go with my mother but I have a few questions and I am sure Gavin is the only one in this house that is even going to entertain the idea of answering them. So I shake my head and say "No its ok I'll stay here" my mother nods "Bye then" and she turns and closes my door behind her.

I wait till I hear her car drive away down the street. I turn back to my father's stuff and with the pictures I kept in hand I walk slowly down stairs. I feel nervous when I stand at the bottom of the stairs looking at Gavin who is making a sandwich I take a deep breath I have to do this I think to myself then I count to three one, two…. Three and I walk into the kitchen. "Hello Sarah are you hungry its lunch time?" Gavin says not even turning to look at me. I am hungry but I have to focus on what I really came here for.

"Did you know my father Gavin?" I ask slowly Gavin freezes for a second and with a small smile looks at me a little shocked "Why are you asking?" he asks as he puts his sandwich onto a plate. I shake my head and ask the question again this time through gritted teeth "Did you know my father" I say he shakes his head at me "You already know I didn't know him Sarah why the sudden boldness to talk about him?" Gavin answers he walking away from me to the lounge and sitting down on the soft coach he clicks on the TV and picks up his lunch. I feel in ferried as I grab the remote and click the TV off now I have his attention he pauses with the sandwich half way to his mouth. He puts it down slowly and looks back up to me "Ok tell me what this is about?" he says.

I slam the photos onto the coffee table and watch him carefully as he looks down at them individually. "Where did you get these Sarah?" he asks he sounds distant but almost firm with me I shake my head "That doesn't matter" I say "I know you were his best friend and for a long time mind you and you met my mother and I as his wife and child" I say not looking away from Gavin. He gives me a stern look "Well then it appears you have figured it all out why do you want to ask questions about things you already know?" he asks slowly. I look at him and clench my teeth and fists "Why have you been lying to me" I snap at him.

He shrugs "Because your mother asked me too" he says he leans back relaxing against the coach. "Why?" I demand not moving an inch "I think you should ask her that one" Gavin admits slowly perhaps he is right I consider but I am not going to let him go that easily "How could you do that to my father how could you marry my mother after he died" I ask I am afraid to make him angry but he doesn't look it if I had to summaries his expression I would say he was impressed, maybe a little shocked. He looks back at me "I married your mother not to defy your father but to fill full a promise I made to him" Gavin says to me he has put down his lunch now.

"He made you promise you would marry my mother?" I ask more confused now than I was a while ago "Yes" he answers slowly and carefully "But why would he do that?" I ask Gavin shrugs "I didn't know then and I don't know now" he answers me. Why would he ask Gavin that? I understand if he asked for Gavin to take care of us but marry my mother? Unless he knew my mother loved him? But does she even love him? I suppose if I think about the way they act I could say they were good friends. The way Gavin pecks my mother on the cheek, the way they hug, how he puts his arm around her and even the way they slid their hands into each other's it is in the same manner I would do to Beverly. Oh my god it has been in front of me this whole time they don't love each other, well they do just not in the sense that they should be spouses. I sit down slowly all the times I saw them lie in bed together when I was little, not pressed together like my father used too.

"You don't love each other" I say it slowly it is not a question but Gavin still nods. How could my father do that make Gavin promise him he would marry my mother stopping him from being able to find love and the same for my mother she could have remarried to a man she fell in love with. Did he not want happiness for them once he died? But how did he even know how he was going to die he was in a car crash I frown did he die instantly on sight or was he in hospital dying? Did he even die in a car crash? Or was that just another easy lie?

I look down at the pictures and my eyes rest on my aunt's face "Is she dead?" I ask my finger resting on her Gavin smiles a little at the picture before he shakes his head at me. "Where is she?" I ask not sure if I want to know "Did she abandon us" by us I mean my mother and but Gavin must think I mean him to because he looks up at me and says "No she did not abandon us" I frown how could she not have abandon us if she is not here I look up at him and he must see my confusion "We abandon her" he adds looking down at her a little sad now. "What?" I ask I don't sound angry any more just very, very confused. "You have to talk to your mother about that one" he says slowly.

I feel frustrated "Then what can you tell me!" I ask he looks back at me with a smile "Not much but you are a lot like your father" he says "And your mother does not like it" he says slowly obviously not sure if he should be saying this to me "She knows she can't keep it all from you for ever but I know you are ready to know now, it's just your mother is afraid to tell you and you must bear with her" he says he looks at me almost pleadingly "Why because she lied to me about all this I mean how many family members do I have that I don't know about?" I snort almost disgusted "She lied to you under circumstances that you will not understand now but maybe in the future you will" he says slowly "You can't tell her I so much as even answered your questions let alone told you all the extra stuff" Gavin says I look at him blankly all the extra stuff? That helped me so much "I deserve to know about my own father and it is wrong that my own mother isn't the one who told these things to me" I say sternly "So you can bet I will be asking her questions tonight" Gavin pinches the bridge of his nose "Relax Sarah just be careful with her" he says slowly "You really are so much like him" he says the last thing more to himself as he looks away than to me.

I feel annoyed but he is probably right I do need to calm down so I stomp my way up stairs and lie down flat on my stomach. I must have drifted off to sleep because my mother is home when I wake up I can hear her clattering around in the kitchen making dinner I am suddenly not so angry any more. So she lied about my father? Who cares it must have been hard for her. I wish I could summon my anger so I could just ask her what I have to but what's the point?

"Sarah dinner" my mother calls up the stairs she must have heard me get up so I walk slowly down the stairs to where she has set the table and put our plates in our regular places just before I am visible to my mother Gavin touches my right shoulder I turn to look at him a little surprised "You can't talk about it" he says and I feel frustrated I need to know I really do but I nod and say "I know I can't" he smiles at me and we both walk into the kitchen. Where the smell of pasta and salad is strong, I sit down at my normal place across from my mother and Gavin. We start eating in silence. "So did you buy anything?" Gavin asks my mother trying to make casual conversation "Well a pair of shoes and I found a pretty top for Sarah" she says with a smile. "That's good" Gavin says shovelling more food into his mouth I sigh a little but _try make it sound more like a yawn. _

"Sarah honey I was hoping I could tell the schools if you were attending them" my mother says I know she feels confidant I will choose North cross High and I probably would if I didn't find out my mother was lying to me. So I stop chewing and swallow before I say to her "Well you can tell North Cross I won't be attending and I would appreciate it if you would tell Matthews Academy that I am very excited to attend their school" I say it as casually as possible but it still sounds like an attack to her. Gavin stiffens and looks at my mother then gives me a little smile so little I can barely see it. He thinks it is the right choose I think to myself but I look back at my mother and feel ashamed her face is hardened but I can still see in her eyes she is mad. "Why would you choose that one" My mother asks trying to appear relaxed "Well I just felt at home there" I answer quietly it is not a lie but the real reason is just so simple I am a spy.

"Oh god" my mother mutters under her breath but it is so quiet in the house both Gavin and I can hear it Gavin looks up at me he does not smile now but I know we are both thinking the same thing, that I have to go to that school whether she likes it or not. "No" my mother says firmly to me I flinch and look at Gavin for the first time ever for a little help "Avalon you did promise it was her choice" Gavin says gently "Oh shut up Gavin" she hisses to him I sit wide eyed looking at her amazed "No Avalon I will not _"Shut up" _I think it is the right choice and I also think it is her choice is that not what you promised her?" he says he sounds firm but gentle and the same time and I can't help but admire his approach to it.

My mother looks at him the fire in her eyes not yet extinguished "Don't tell me how to raise my child" my mother says my eyes widen even more my mother has never once pulled that one on Gavin but he is still calm as he looks her level in the eyes and says softly "She is also his child" my mother just stares at him but when I look at her face I can see she is defeated. She sighs "I will call them tomorrow" she says she sounds like she wants to cry and something tells me it is not only because I won't be living with her any more. I sit there in silence until we have eaten and my mother says nothing to me as we clean up but just before I go upstairs my mother looks me hard in the eye and says "He would have been happy you chose that one" I don't know what she means that he would be happy about that I mean did he even know that school existed. But I nod and with my head down I walk up stairs in silence.

CHAPTER SIX

FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL

I am not the first girl at the school after the holidays there are a few who are casually spread across the whole school. I don't attract as many glances as I did the last time it is probably because this time no one is in their uniform yet but I still get strange looks. "Hey" Bethany says rushing up to me and wrapping me up in her strong arms she pulls away with a grin "And you didn't think you would choose this school" she says "Yeah" I say breathily looking back at her I glance over my shoulder to see Gavin's rental car go whizzing down the road. "Oh no now your trapped here with us loony's until they come back" Bethany teases I give her a weak smile. "Don't smile like that you may as well have _first time boarder_ written across your face" Clue says coming up behind Bethany.

My smile fades immediately. "Come on let's get you unpacked" Bethany says and she takes my bag from my hands with one swift motion. I carry my smaller bag up the stairs behind the two other girls. Clue opens the door of our dorm room and steps back to let Bethany walk in first then me. I look around the room it is just how I remember it except less books I guess Sasha hasn't arrived yet. Bethany dumps my bag on the bed in the corner and I mutter "Thanks" she unzips it and flips the lid open "Let's see what we have here" Bethany says she scratches around in my bag. "Nice, nice… Nice, good, nice I am going to need to borrow this sometime" Bethany says as she puts my clothes into my wardrobe I put my other bag down and help her out.

I finish unpacking quickly with their help Clue did my smaller bag and Bethany and I slid my empty bigger bag under my bed just as the door opens and a relaxed looking Sasha walks in her arms are piled with books and she carries a big bag with a laptop bag on her back. She is not nearly as strong as Clue and Bethany so she dumps the bag right there in the doorway. Clue bends down and picks up the bag and then drops it again "Did you pack all those stupid books in here again" Clue asks her hands on her hips. "They are not stupid" Sasha says breathlessly defending her books. I help Clue pick the bag up and put it on Sasha's bed we all get stuck in with unpacking her stuff but no one touches her books and we let her place them on the book shelf in the order she wants. I sit back on my bed exhausted from unpacking and traveling.

"Well don't look so drained yet the boys will be here for lunch" Bethany says nudging me with her elbow I look up at her with a raised eyebrow "Oh we didn't tell her the boys will spend the first semester here with us this year and next year we will be going there" she says it excitedly "so basically this school will have two schools in it?" I ask looking up at her and wondering how they will be able to fit "Well no just the top achievers of each grade come here" Sasha says with a little shrug. I nod understanding. "Come on let's go down so we can get good seats" Bethany says but she doesn't wait for me to respond she just grabs my arm and drags me away.

We stand at the top of the grand stairs and look down at all the girls and boys mixing as they take their seats at the long tables. I look over at Bethany but she is already half way down the stairs. I follow her trailing behind casually I slip into the seat next to her with ease I can see Clue and Sasha sitting on the left of Bethany but no one sits to my right. I turn to Bethany with a smile "Are we just supposed to take that food" I ask looking at the food set in the middle of the long tables "Yeah but according to the rules we should only eat when all the staff are seated" she says as she picks up a small roll butters it and takes a bite I laugh a little but decide to follow the rules for now.

"Excuse me is this seat taken" someone says on my right I turn to see a skinny boy with glasses and braces that shine as he smiles I smile back and says "No you can sit here" the boy happily sits down and fidgets with his glasses I jump as Bethany rams her elbow into my ribs "Owe what?" I hiss rubbing my side "You are supposed to let hot boys sit next to you not.." but she does not finish I scowl her "That's mean Bethany he can sit wherever he wants" I say slowly "Call me Beth, Bethany is what my mother calls me when she is mad" she says I can't help but laugh at her "Ok Beth" I say trying it out she smiles at me "Much better" she says with a nod of approval "Ooh try make conversation" Beth says looking over my shoulder at someone I turn slowly around to see who she means.

A boy sits across from me he has sandy blond hair that is flopping into his face and he has what I can only describe as deep blue eyes he sits with his hands resting on the table he is not looking at us but talking to someone on his left another boy who has brown eyesr and black hair they are both good looking but I don't really care I am not very attractive myself and I don't need a boyfriend so I just shrug and look back at Beth "Why don't you make conversation?" I ask she raises an eyebrow at me "Are you scared to talk to them she asks" I laugh a little it sounded so ridiculous I couldn't hold it in "No" I say "Good then prove it" Beth says as she nudges my shoulder. I'd never found it hard to talk to boys or relate to them but those boys were not spies in training.

I didn't even realize I was looking at him until he turns around to reach for a roll and catches me looking he sits there for a while just looking at me. His eyes are really amazing but that is no reason for me to just keep staring so I peal my eyes away and look down at my hands in my lap letting my hair form a curtain around me. "I'm Devon" one of the boys says and I look up to see the dark haired one extending his hand to me I smile a little as I extend mine and say "Sarah" Devon nods and drops my hand "Zach" his friend says shaking my hand before I can pull my arm back away. I feel Beth look at me in the corner of her eye it makes me uncomfortable so I reach up and loosen my hair that is tucked behind my ear so I cannot see her anymore. Zach leans on the table and looks at me "Is it your first time boarding?" he asks his eyes focusing on me like there is nothing around me.

"Yes" I say slowly "Have you been boarding for a long time?" I ask trying to match the concentration in which he looks at me he shrugs "About two years" he says I know the schools here count seventh grade as high school so if this is the third year he is boarding he is a year older than me that is assuming he started here in seventh grade. "Where did you go to school before?" he asks me not even noticing someone bump him as they walk past "It was in Brenna" I say the name of my city it is named after someone who saved it from some kind of war a long time ago. Zach nods and his friend asks me the next question "So is it true you were invited to join this school?" he sounds strange as he speaks I look at him slowly a little shocked by the question "Um… yes is that not common here?" I ask frowning at them Zach and Devon exchange glances and look back at me amazed "No it never happens" says Devon.

"Really why not?" I ask them "This is a school for spies they can't just let anyone come here" Zach answers my question quickly something triggers inside me, curiosity I all of a sudden want to know why I was asked to join this school on scholarship but I just look at them and say "Oh". The principle walks into the dining hall and stands behind a podium in front of the other tables the rest of the staff follow in a line and stand behind their seats.

Everyone stands I suppose out of respect and Beth drags me to my feet effortlessly. "Welcome back from your holidays" She speaks and not one person talks with her if a pin were to fall the entire room would hear it "I am glad to be able to welcome the boys from St. Johns high to enjoy a semester of learning with their pears in this school" applause for the boys "I trust this year will kick off with a very exciting first semester we have decided you will be working not only with pears your age but with pears younger and older than you" no applause just glances around the room "For those of you who are joining us for the first time I wish you luck I do not doubt you will enjoy being here but I must remind you, you are boys of St. Johns and the girls of Matthews Academy so I expect for you to act that way" she says.

We clap as she walks to her seat and as the staff take their seats and as they do so do we. The dining hall fills with chatter as people grab at the food in the centre of the tables but I am not all that hungry I had a large breakfast with my mother and Gavin before I came here so I just butter a roll and pick at it while Beth laughs at something Clue says that I cannot hear. I eat quietly and all of a sudden I become aware of how close I sit to the boy on my right and to Beth on my left and just like that I feel trapped and as though I need air. Being quiet makes me realize how noisy everyone is and my head starts to ache "I am going for a walk" I say to Beth as I swivel in my seat and walk away without checking to see if she heard me before I walkout the front door.

Outside is much better there is not so much noise and no one is pressed against me so I cannot breath I breathe deeply the air burns my nose because it is cold. How will I manage I think to myself how am I going to be able to sit so close to people as I eat and not be able to breathe for the next five years and not to mention the bedroom I have never had to share my bedroom with anyone I won't have my own space it will be shared with three other girls oh god and what about the bathroom I have to share that to. But that isn't even the worst of it what will I be expected to do as a spy pupil will I manage?

I feel nauseous I have to walk I think to myself no I have to go home what was I thinking whether my mother and Gavin lied to me or not I miss my home. I clamp my right hand over my mouth and lean against the cold wall with my left hand I look down at the ground which is blurred with tears. "It's strange how being homesick makes you really feel physically sick" someone says from behind me I look over my shoulder to see who it is Zach is leaning against the wall on his left shoulder with his hands in his pockets he is not looking at me anymore instead he looks off into the distance toward the horse barn. "You should walk around once your blood starts flowing faster you feel better" he says he looks back at me I let my right hand drop from my mouth but leave my left hand brushing the wall "What are you doing out here?" I ask he looks back at me and I get the same feeling that when he is talking to someone all his attention is on them he shrugs "I like to go for walks when it gets to loud in there" he says "The feeling will pass and after the first time you only get it when you are home he says" I frown "Why would I get homesick when I am home?" I ask "Because this is your home now Sarah" he answers.

The way he says it makes me sure I am going to vomit so I look away and try forcing it out by gaging. "Relax" he says he walks closer and takes me by the shoulders to pull me up straight "Come on let's walk" he says he starts and I follow him I look down at the flowers when I came for my tour it was to rushed for me to admire them but know I see they are white and red rose bushes that line the sides of the narrow paths. I remember walking along this exact path and not knowing that this school was a school for spies. I look at Zach and feel like we should be talking "So you said not just anyone comes to this school does that mean your parents are spies?" I ask him he turns to look at me and nods "My mother is" he says "So she married a normal man?" I ask him Zach smirks "We are normal people we can just do things normal people don't" he says "But no she did not marry a normal man she married a spy it's just that he passed away" Zach says "Oh" is all I can manage "Don't say it like that you don't have to feel sorry for me" Zach says

I frown I hadn't been trying to sound sad or pitiful I look up at him he is not too much taller than me I reach just past his shoulders maybe in line with his chin. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that" I say he says nothing "I know how you feel though" I add he frowns and looks at me "My father died when I was six" I explain and he looks at me with understanding "Sorry" he says "Don't be" I answer I don't want people to feel sorry for me just like he didn't want me to. He smiles a little like he knows what I am thinking. I look ahead of me and I see we are standing right in front of the horse barn with its doors standing wide open. "Do you know how to ride" Zach asks as he walks up to a pure white horse and strokes its cheek.

I shake my head at him and step closer so I can pet the black haired horse that is in the stall next to the horse Zach is petting. "Would you like to learn?" he asks I smile at him and nod he steps aside and unlatches the stall of the black horse that I pet the horse steps forward shaking itself out like it is happy to be out Zach grabs hold of the saddle that is slung over the side of the horses stall. The horse is still as Zach clips the saddle on and adjusts the straps then he looks at me. I have climbed onto a few horses and been lead around buy someone so luckily I don't have to ask him to lift me on. I put my left foot into the strap on the side closest to me and I grab the ends of the saddle to pull myself up and fling my right leg over and slid my foot into the strap.

Zach puts on the girth and hands me the reins "Pull right to go right and pull left to go left" he says his fingertips brushing my hands first my right then left "Pull back firmly to stop" he says controlling my wrists to show me how to stop the horse "Oh you will want to pivot up and down as the horse runs so you do not slam into its back he must see how confused I am because he mounts the white horse that he has saddled up and he looks as though he is standing when he lifts his body off the horse and back down. "You will understand why that is important when we start riding" he adds as I mimic his movement "If we go up a hill lean forward and down lean back" he says to me I nod "Squeeze your legs and he will start moving" he says to me "Oh and his name is Shadow" he adds but before I can ask how he knows that his horse walks forward and he is out the barn already. Ok I think to myself what did he say pull right to go right left to go left, Lift up and down and squeeze my legs for him to move I try squeezing but Shadow stands dead still I am probably not strong enough or something so instead I say "Shadow walk" as if I have turned a switch on he walks forward and out of the barn. I laugh because I almost topple over as he jerks into movement below me I like it, being so high up and feeling so much stronger on his back.

I pull gently back on the reins to stop him but he keeps walking. Oh boy I think I don't want to just go straight into- but I can't finish my train of thought because out of nowhere Shadow starts running I let out a shriek as we go flying away from the barn I can see Zach growing closer with speed as Shadow runs. I shriek again but this time I shout "Zach" as loud as possible Zach twists on the back of his horse and he laughs as I come closer to him. As the air rushes through my hair my hands are shake I feel scared I like to be in control of things like this but there is no controlling Shadow. Zach yanks at the reins of his white horse and it twists to block our way my back slams against Shadows spin making a shock of pain go up my back every time I land and then without me pulling on the reins Shadow comes to a jerking stop, the tip of his nose only inches away from Zach's horse.

"You ok?" Zach asks looking at me I nod but I am unable to open my mouth he laughs lightly but then looks down at Shadow sternly "This is why no one wants to ride you" he says and Shadow seems to understand because he bows his head forward with so much power the reins slip from my hands. Zach shakes his head at me but he climbs off his horse an picks them up to hand them to me "Thanks" I say taking them with a stronger grip this time I can't help but laugh shakily. Before Zach gets back onto his horse he turns back to look at me and asks "Do you want to switch" I stop laughing and shake my head I like how strong and powerful Shadow feels but not only that he is light and fast very fast.

Zach mounts his horse again and says "Let's do this slowly stay next to me or he will do it again" Zach suggests and I nod glad I don't have to try and control Shadow alone Zach's horse starts walking at an easy pace but I now Shadow won't respond to that so I try doing something I've seen people do in the movies I twist my body and with my right hand I pat him on the back. Shadow walks forward but he goes faster than I want so I very gently tug on the reins and he slows falling into line next to Zach. Zach has both reins gathered in one hand and he massages his horse's ear with the other. I feel better now at this pace not even Zach is pivoting it is so slow. "So how long have you been riding?" I ask him he turns to look at me but I am afraid to take my eyes off the path. "I only started when I got here" he says. I nod "Why in the world would a spy need to know how to ride anyway?" I ask.

"If you are in any situation that you have to get out of and the only escape route is a horse you will be grateful you know how to ride" he says it so it sounds simple but I wonder what kind of situation you would be in that would involve having to get onto the back of a horse. "What other things are you taught?" I ask tugging to reins left. "We do just about everything we learn a tone of languages I doubt we will need but we know them anyway, we know how to fight and use a weapon, we are taught how to look for an escape route we are taught so much I can't list all of them. I look at him amazed how many of these things has he perfected? I shudder at the thought of him turning around and firing a riffle behind him. I think of tiny Sasha doing that and don't believe everyone can "Does everyone have to learn how to learn all that stuff?" I ask frowning a little he shakes his head "We have to learn the basics but we have to choose if we want to advance in that" he explains I nod I like the sound of being able to choose instead.

"Let's speed up" he says to me I nod although he is not looking at me. His horse starts going faster and I lean back tapping Shadow again on the back he acts instantly like he has been waiting for me to do it this whole time. Shadow is faster than Zach's horse and before I have even perfected the pivoting we over take them I rise as he does and lower my body as he does but he is difficult, every time I match his pace he switches it going fast. A part of me hates it having to readjust my pace but another part of me loves the feeling of my hair being blown right out of my face. I turn to look behind me but my hair blocks most of my vision so I shrug my shoulder using it to push the hair away from my eyes and I can just see Zach in the distance we I far ahead of him.

I look back at where we are going and decide I need to slow down my heart seems to thump to the same beat of Shadows hooves on the ground. My eyes adjust to the speed and concentrate on what is ahead of me. My chest burns from the air that is rushing in to my body my arms are aching from holding the reins so firmly my legs shake every time I rise and fall but I have never felt so amazing. I tap Shadow reluctantly he cannot go any faster I know as much and so does he so to both our disappointment we slow right down and I tug on the reins bringing him to a stop. Zach managed to catch up when we started to slow down and as I stop he brings his horse to an easier pace. He comes up behind us I twist to look at him with a bright smile his hair has been blown back into a flick and his cheeks are red he breathes heavily through his mouth but he returns my smile.

"How did it feel?" he ask me as he dismounts the horse I look at him and my smile widens as I say "Amazing" I stroke Shadow and lean down so my face is right behind his ears I feel his body relax beneath my touch but then Zach says "Climb down we should give them a rest before we go back up for dinner" I look down at him I don't want to get off but he is right Shadow does not strain under my weight but he must be tired I fling my leg around and make thud as I land. My legs feel like jelly as they touch the ground and I grab hold of the straps to steady myself. Shadow nudges me with his nose and I turn to look at him right into his dark brown eyes. I let go of the straps and take the saddle off but not the girth stroking him gently the saddle is heavy and I strain to lift it but give up and just drop it to the floor.

Zach shakes his head at me he has lead his horse to a bucket of water and a pile of apples that have been set out. I stand with my hand on Shadow and my legs feeling weak but for the first time since I got onto his back I look around we are not far away from the school, still on the grounds but we are far enough for the building to just be a smudged silhouette. I am standing in what seems to be some kind of meadow with a thin river flowing under low hanging willow the place is beautiful. Shadow walk forward putting his shoulder against mine and I know he needs water I put my hand lightly on his reins and guide him to where Zach's horse has started on the apples and let him drink. I look around to see Zach sitting on a slop close to the river he has his strong arms out behind him to hold his torso up but his legs are stretched out and relaxed.

I let go of Shadow and sit cross legged next to him I run my hands through my hair ripping through the knots. I feel tired as I look down at the river and listen to the way the water sounds as it trickles along. I do not ask Zach anything and neither does he I get the feeling we both are just enjoying the sound of silence. We must have sat there for a long time because Zach looks down at his watch and sighs "We have to go up for dinner" he says as he turns to look at me I nod an get up dusting myself off a little as Zach gets the horses and hands me Shadows reins. I put my leg into the strap and almost fall off as I swing my other leg around. I steady myself as I sit on top of Shadow.

"I'll race you" I say to Zach who is sitting on the back of his horse "I bet I'll win" he says but he does not wait for me to answer he just turns and rides away. I laugh as I tap Shadow and he starts a slower run then we speed up a little and a little more until I am so close to Zach I could reach out and touch his horses tail. As we rid past I lean over my shoulder and say "Even after you cheated I am still going to win" and when I turn back I concentrate on what I am feeling. My legs are burning even worse than before my back is so sore I feel as though it might shatter or snap. My heart is in the same rhythm as Shadows pounding hooves my eyes are watering as air dries them my arms send shooting pain up to my shoulders every time I lift them off their resting place on the saddle but there is something else inside me, sheer delight.

I have to slow Shadow down because I can see the barn we near it and I hear Zach's horses hooves beating on the ground as they come up behind us we stop outside the barn and Zach dismounts easily and smoothly but I have to grit my teeth to stop from screaming out I am so stiff. We lead our horses in and Zach shows me how to brush them he says "We don't have to do this the caretakers will but he thinks it is part of the fun" and I agree I enjoy brushing Shadow and using cold water to cool him. By the time we have finished and start our way up the path there are only five minutes to dinner.

I feel exhausted and I ach everywhere but I don't complain as I walk I don't even show any signs of stiffness as we enter the dining hall. Zach leaves my side to go and sit with one of his friends and I scan the crowed for Beth when I spot her staring at me I smile but she does not smile back I walk slowly toward her and sit down even slower. "Where have you been" she snaps I frown at her "Riding" I say "With who?" she asks quickly "Zach" I say with a small shrug "You don't even know the boy!" she hisses I shake my head "Gee sorry mom I won't do it again" I say Beth sighs "Sorry it's just that.. the principle.. um asked us to watch out for you so if something happens I will be in shit" I can't help but laugh "So let me get this straight you were not really worried about me you were just worried about what would happen to you if something had to happen to me?" I ask.

"Yeah" she says nodding cracking a smile "I am not worried there are creepy boys here but he is luckily not one of them" she adds. I smile a little back at her and glance over at Zach who sits a table down with a group of his friends laughing. I wait for the Principle to be seated before I take my own seat and taking a piece of pie.

"So did you have fun?" Bethany asks looking at me with food in her mouth I don't say anything just nod with a smile. We eat dinner quickly and they bring out deserts for us I feel stuffed but the chocolate cake is so good I have to have some. I is the most amazing chocolate cake I have ever had with cream and chocolate syrup dripping off of it. "It's good right?" Beth asks me obviously noticing me eating it slowly trying to savour it "I haven't had better" I admit to her she gives me a smile she has a piece of cake on her plate and apple pie with ice-cream between she only had a roll for dinner and now I guess I know why. "Do they serve deserts every night" I ask putting another small fork of cake into my mouth she shrugs "Yes but they are always different" she says, I guess I could get used to that I think having desert every night. We get up after a while once the dining hall is starting to clear "You should get some water the chocolate cake makes you thirst" Beth suggests I nod and turn toward the water fountain and grab a glass from next to it I take a while to pour "You take as long to pour water as you do when you ride" I hear Zach's voice from behind me he smirks a little as I turn around.

"Oh really" I say "Well I wonder how long I will take to drink it" I say I put my right hand against the fountain and press the glass to my lips I drink it slowly but I drink it faster than I normally would and Zach just watches me with a humorous smile when I pull the glass away from my mouth he side step trying to get to the fountain "Sorry" I say "I have to refill it now" I say pushing my glass under the tap and turn it on it slowly fills my glass and I finally step back for Zach to get to the fountain. I give a little smirk before I turn around and start toward the wooden stairs. My feet are silent on the carpet as I walk slowly up my right hand holding the glass and my left brushing the banister. I open the door to our dorm room and look in Clue sits cross legged on her bed already in her sleeping shorts and t-shirt she pushed her hair out of her face and looks at me "Please tell me you can French braid" she says looking up at me.

"Yes" I say I remember my mother teaching me when I was younger it was hard for my small hands to do it then but now my fingers are long and thin making it easy for me "Good then come here and do my hair" Clue say she twists around and pats the bed behind her "Then you can shower next because she won't move from there till she is done with whatever she is doing Clue says looking at Sasha who's tiny bony fingers are flying across the key board she does not react to what Clue said but I know she heard. Clue rolls her eyes at me dramatically as I sit on her pillow behind her. I've braided my friends hair back home plenty times so my finger slid across her long hair knowing what to do Clue does not move she just sits dead still like a doll it is strange I remember having to move with Bev's hair so she could look over her shoulder at something but it does make it quicker.

I take the band out my hair and tie it at the bottom of her waist length braid "Thanks" she says as I get up I nod my arms are aching badly but I am sure it is probably a mixture of the horse riding and braiding Clue's long soft blond hair. "You have to teach me how to do that to my own hair" Clue says looking at me as I get my night clothes out "I can only do it to other people's hair and even then it only works sometimes" Clue adds I laugh "Well I'm going not going anywhere in a hurry" I say she smiles at me but I feel a pang in my tummy and I can't help but think _"Oh my god I am not going anywhere in a hurry?" _I force a smile onto my face as Beth opens the bathroom door letting steam spew out.

Her hair is piled onto her head into a towel she is in her night clothes and she looks exhausted I give her a little smile as I walk into the bathroom and close the door "Oh your hair looks nice" I hear Beth say but I turn on the shower water before I can hear Clue say anything. The silence is bliss full as I step into the shower my ears feel as though I am covering them with my hands I sigh as the hot water washes over my aching body it feels so good like it temporarily taking away my pains. But soon I grow to tired of standing and I climb out of the shower I slid on my little shorts and top I brush my teeth and my wet hair I walk out the bathroom doing a French braid in my own hair this time I do it quickly and grab a band that is lying on my bed and I tie it around my hair.

Beth is sitting on her bed she yanks her brush through her fierce waves as though she is angry with them. Clue is lying down reading a magazine and Sasha hasn't moved "Don't we have a curfew or something?" I ask looking at them "Yeah what is it like nine?" Beth asks Clue frowning Clue shrugs "I donno" she says "So you just don't follow it?" I ask "They don't really care if we stay up it is our problem if we cannot function in the morning any way" she says "I guess that makes sense I say" at home I don't have a curfew but I have always liked to get to bed fairly early. Clue turns the lamp next to her bed off and Beth turns the one above her head off Sasha lifts her head and looks at all three of us "Go shower" Beth says. Sasha obediently closes her laptop and walks into the bathroom. I turn off my lamp to and lie down on my bed. It is softer than my one at home but it is still comfortable.

I lie looking over at Clue's bed waiting for sleep to hit me but it doesn't I wait until I can hear Clue breathing deeply and until I can hear Beth mumbling things in her sleep, I wait until I hear Sasha come out the bathroom and turn off her light making the entire room black. I wait until I hear her moving around in her sleep but I can't get any sleep I just lie there my eyes heavy with exhaustion. I think of my mother and Gavin in the hotel getting ready to leave tomorrow already I think of how my mother looked as though she was going to cry when she hugged me good bye. I get that nauseous feeling again but I know I won't vomit so I just lie there hoping I will fall asleep. I decide to just think of the long day I have had but I can't stop the hot tears from spilling out silently.

CHAPTER SEVEN

MY NEW HOME

My eyes open unwillingly to the bright morning sun that streams in through the window. I look around Beth is just getting up but Clue has her uniform on and Sasha has her tooth brush in her mouth as she walks around the room grabbing things and putting them into her bag. I sigh and put my arms under me to push me up I groan as I do though, because my arms shake unsteadily with pain and my back sends a shooting pain up my spin as I finally sit up I swing my legs around this time prepared for the pain that goes through my calves and thighs. I push myself out of bed and my legs shake with the weight on top of them. I had no idea riding a horse could cause so much pain I walk toward the bathroom stiffly trying my best not to move too much.

Beth laughs as she watches me "Horse riding doesn't sound to appealing now does it" She says I don't answer I just groan from the pain in my back as I step in to the bathroom I brush my teeth quickly and just neaten up my braid before I get into my uniform which is a plaid skirt and a white golf shirt that has the badge on the left breast over our hearts. We do not have to tuck them in so I let it hang loose. I put on my short white socks and groan when I have to bend to tie my laces. I put on the green cardigan that matches the skirt and stand up not even looking into the mirror. "Oh yeah here" Beth says handing me my over the shoulder school bag and my small bag that I brought with that has clothes in and a bathing suit.

I look at her questioningly but she just shrugs and says "PE and combat clothes" I nod once before I put my school bag over my shoulder and leave the other one hanging in my hand. I follow Beth out the dorm room and hear Sasha close the door behind her once she has stepped out I look down from where I stand at the top of the stairs watching all the boys and girls rush to the dining hall in their uniforms that oddly seem to match the girls light green and white and the boys dark blue and white. I start down the stairs aware of the pain running all the way from my legs up my back I sigh and ignore it. I walk into the dining room and bite back a groan as I take my seat between Beth and Clue.

"What's for breakfast this morning" Beth says and she looks at the food, there is cereal and milk next to it but the other option is toast and cheese or jam. I grab a golden piece of toast and butter it before putting on a small piece of cheese I bit into it ignoring the pain in my arm just from lifting it. "So what is your first class" Beth asks me I take out my schedule for the day and look down at my first class "What the hell is Mac?" I ask because that is what my schedule says my first class is. "It stands for mission awareness class" Clue says as Beth bites into a piece of toast "You learn how to handle stress and to be able to see everything that is not in front of you about the mission" Clue says "You will probably be in the basic class because you are new here but if you are good enough you will advance to a higher class" Beth adds. I nod "We should get going" Sasha speaks up from next to Beth where she has her nose buried in a text book of some kind. So we all get up and walk outside the building.

"I'll walk with Sarah to Mac" Beth says "You two go on ahead" she says Sasha and Clue nod and they turn to another path so they will enter the school building in another door to us. "Are you nervous?" Beth asks shading her eyes from the bright sun so she can look at me I smile a little am I nervous? I am not sure I have been nervous since I got here so I don't think that's what Beth is really asking but I shrug "Not more than I would be at any other school" I say she nods and then turns to look at the door we are standing outside of "This is basic Mac" Beth says she pushes the door open to reveal the class of children who are standing on tables and running around making a terrible noise. That would never have happened at my old school we were much too afraid to do things as stupid as this I look at Beth with uncertainty but she just gives me a confident smile I force a smile back as I walk into the class.

No one notices me so I sit right at the back of the class I watch them jump from table to table trying not to fall a boy jumps onto a desk and it shakes but he leaps off before it can crash to the floor with him on it. I shake my head boys are going to be idiots no matter what school I go to so I just fish out my I-pod and plug in my ear phones. It is kind of fun watching them be stupid together like if one of them is going to get in trouble for this they all are. Finally the room quietens and I pull my head phones out and shove them into my bag as a boy takes his seat next to me. "Hi I'm Alex" the boy says but he does not reach out his hand to me to shake he just looks at me with big dark eyes that remind me of a puppies eyes when they are looking for someone. I smile at him "Sarah" I say he straightens up and his eyes widen even more like he has been shocked.

"So the rumours are true" he says I smile at him and think of what Devin and Zach had said to me about the rumours yesterday "It's really no big deal" I say with a small shrug "Well yeah but it's pretty… Cool" he says with a smile I smile back slowly "So you're my age right?" he asks "I don't know how old you are?" I say he shrugs "Fourteen and after a year of trying to advance I still haven't managed" he says I frown so it's hard then I guess to advance. "You know we should stick together" he continues I laugh a little and look at him "Really you think so?" I ask "Yes we are both practically legends here" he answers he leans back folding his arms behind his head and he gives me this smile that forces a smile on my own face "And what makes us legends?" I ask a little amused "Well you are the first person to ever get an invite to this school and I am known for my irresistible charm" he says giving me a smile as he flicks his hair dramatically out of his face I laugh harder now and he seems happy to be able to make me laugh "Well you already know my answer to that I mean how could I resist your charm" I say amused. His smile widens as the teacher walks in and the entire class falls silent at once.

I look up to see a small slender woman standing in front of the class. "Miss Elmer" says Alex looking at her "Don't under estimate her cuteness she is rather vicious" he says I clamp my hand over my mouth trying to stop the laugh from escaping my lips but I can't stop it so instead I bow my head and let it out as quietly as possible I can feel Alex smile down at me. I straighten up I still have a smile on my face but luckily I have stopped laughing. I look at Miss Elmer and realize Alex is right she is rather cute her face is round and her legs short she looks like a little girl all she needs is a makeover and I could picture her asking mommy for a dolly. However the cloths she wears are much too old for a little girl she is wearing a leather jacket over a polar neck that is cream matching the colour of her skin and she has paired it with a pair of black pants.

She does not great us before she says "What do you notice in this picture" I look up at the picture on the board immediately scanning it for something. The picture is of a market crowded with people I squint at the picture what is it? I ask myself and then as if all of a sudden my eyes are opening I can see all of it the whole picture. A child crying as it clings to a small ragdoll but no adult stands next to it as though they own it and a woman maybe the child's mother is walking in front of a man with black clothes on and a scar the woman looks uneasy and she wears the same kind of look my mother would get if she is worried about someone she cares for. There is something else though there are people in the picture who do not fit in they look the same as any other but there is something off about, the man who sits with a tea cup on the table before him he smiles but he does not look happy but the woman that sits across from him holds the tea cup to her lips.

I frown what is it? I ask again and there it is as clear as daylight, the man has a small pile box with powder in it pocking out his pocket his eyes are stern and expectant but something more this woman's hair matches the colour of the boy's. I have it I think to myself the picture is telling a story there are men there they are looking for those two woman that have some kind of relation to the child. My hand shoots up before anyone else has picked anything up Alex gives me a questioning look as Miss Elmer's eyes rest on me. A smile plays at the corner of her mouth "Miss Hill" she says with a small nod to me. My eyes shift back to the picture as I say "The man sitting outside the coffee shop he has a pill box with powder" I say she nods firmly looking pleased "And the child in the centre with the rag doll is crying but there is no adult that looks close enough to own him and no one seems to be searching for him in a panic" I add by now the rest of the class has turned to look at me but I ignore it as I continue "The woman with the baby pink top is walking in front of a man who stands very close to her and there is the other woman sitting across from the tea cup man her hair matches the boy's"

Miss Elmer smiles at "That is correct there is just one more thing" she says slowly looking at the rest of the class "Well I am defiantly sticking with you I hate to admit it but I think I need your help to get me into the advanced class" Alex says looking at me slowly with some kind of respect I flash him a smile "We are going to need each- others help" I say he smiles back at me as if he likes the idea. I do not hear the last answer but I suppose it must have come along at some point because Miss Elmer steps forward a little her movement catching my attention again. "Well class I did not expect you to get those answers so easily" she says sounding impressed she looks down at her watch and says "We have ten minutes I suppose I can let you do what you wish in that time" she says to us.

"Well now the class is certainly going to love you" Alex says to me quietly I look up at him with fake confusion "Don't they already?" I ask he rolls his eyes "Not with my charm around" he says I grin at him I can see us being good friends in the near future I think I am going to really enjoy being at this school. I feel a little pang of guilt for leaving my mother when I know she was unhappy but I brush it aside I cannot let it bother me now I think scowling down at me hands. "So Miss Hill" Alex says sounding like Miss Elmer I look up at him and smirk "Yes Mister Charming" I say trying to pull the same voice he flashes a grin "Well since all the girls call me that I think as my allies you should call Mister Dire" he says I smirk a little Dire is that really his last name? "Well Mister Dire what do you have next?" I ask.

"Advanced combat" he answers quickly I frown a little I picture him being able to through someone over his shoulder in one movement I can see it but I am not sure if I like that "What about you" he asks jokes aside reach into my pocket and pull out my schedule "PE" I say reading the paper Alex smiles a little "I'll walk you to the barn" he suggests as the bell rings I smile and nod glad he offered. He picks up my PE bag and slings it over his shoulder he is different to the boys at home he does things to be nice not because of a stupid bet or because he wants something in return.

"So which hill do you come from" he asks making fun of my last name as we leave the classroom behind a group of girls. Now that we are both standing I can tell, he is not much taller than me because I am about in line with his eyes. I smirk "Right like I haven't heard that one before" I say he gives me this little smile. "No really though where do you stay" he asks me I look up at him and smile "At Matthews Academy" I answer he rolls his eyes "Really now?" he says "I am serious" he continues I shrug "Brenna" I say "I knew it" he says as though he has just won a prize "Oh what tipped you off" I ask "Well people from the busy city of Brenna all seem under stress all the time" he says I laugh although I know it is true "No really you guys just need to learn to relax" he says.

I smile as we round the corner of one of the paths and reach the barn we stop at the door and he hands me my PE bag "Have fun" he says sounding sarcastic as he crinkles his nose I doubt I will because I still feel extremely stiff from yesterday's riding but I still say "Thanks" and turn to walk into the barn. It is crowded with people but they all file into bathrooms I follow a trail of girls into the bathroom and dress into the PE cloths that I have in my bag. I step out into the barn and for the first time look around one side of it has punching bags of different sizes and shapes and mats on the floor I suppose used to fight on. But the other side has an obstacle course and strange instruments used more for strengthening up and building your body.

"Right line- up" a man says as he walks through the door he has buzzed hair and he looks as though he could snap a skinny girl by touching her to hard I think to myself. We all stand in a line facing the side of the barn that has all the exercising equipment. "We will be doing fitness today" the man says he puts a stop watch and a whistle over his head I hear almost everyone groan and he rolls his eyes "Stop your moaning and choose and obstacle and get started!" he shouts at us everyone scrambles to different station I look through them all which one should I go to? I think two girls are doing shuttle runs from one end to the other, there are gymnastic poles where kids are doing pull ups others are doing stretches and exercises that are written on a piece of paper.

I figure it does not really matter which one I do so I join the girls who are doing the exercises I lie down flat on my stomach and push myself up in a push up position and start slowly my arms are weak and they shake as I reach the third one. "Use your breathing to help breathe out as you go down and in as you lift up" the man's gruff voice is just above me I glance up at him he is looking down at me so I lift my aching arms and ignore my paining legs and back as I breathe in and then out slowly. It helps me he is right it is easier for me to get up and come down again he nods approvingly at me and moves on.

The next on the list of exercises is sit ups I was always better at those than push up but I am so sore that it takes a while for me to manage it but once I am in the rhythm I do not slow down. The coach blows hard on his whistle and we all get up and mover to the obstacle on our rights I look up at the obstacle there is still someone at the top of the rope slowly sliding down. He finally reaches a point where his hands can no longer handle it and he loosen his grip so he comes whizzing down, his face is red and his hands are cut a little from rope burn. I grab hold of the rope I have never done this before but I have seen it plenty times in the movies so I stain to pull myself up but I stop trying after a while it is impossible I think. I drop back down to the ground and back up giving myself running space I look at the rope and shake out my hands ok on three I think one, two, three.

I run as fast as I can and hurl myself at the rope I just grab it in time it swings back and forth with me on it but I am already higher than I was when I first tried I look down at my dangling feet and the up at the top I sigh I put my right foot on a knot and at the same time reach for the knot above my face. I climb like that for three more knots and by then it is hard to hold on my arms are beyond shaking and my legs refuse to let me push against the next to knot. I let out a frustrated groan as I look down at the ground which is swinging as I do I try to climb down but I lose all my grip and let out a shriek as I go hurling toward the ground I slam the floor with my back and I just lie there I can't breathe and every time I try I cough.

"Alright everyone hit the showers" the coach says blowing his whistle again most of the others probably made it right around all the different obstacles when I was stuck on the rope I sigh and close my eyes feeling the pain in my back shoot up and down my spine I take deep gulps of air trying to get my wind back. I wipe my forehead with my fingertips as I run my tong around my lips. The barn is quiet now everyone is in the bathrooms and I am pretty sure the coach has left too. So thinking I am alone I scream through gritted teeth for so many reasons, out of frustration, for thinking I could do this but most of all for failing.

"Wow how high up were you" someone asks I open my right eye to look up at Zach you is looking down at me. "You ok?" he asks raising an eyebrow at me I push myself up onto my elbows and I am all of a sudden aware of the clothes I am wearing, black tight leggings matched with a stretchy tight fitting black top that only has small straps on it, I didn't realize how they both clung to my body making me look both skinny and curvy. I sigh and just drop my elbows lying flat on the ground again. "That bad... Huh?" Zach asks and I hear him sit down next to me but I do not open my eyes. It is break so I plan to just lie here until I have to leave "You know I feel off that exact rope the first time I tried to get up there" Zach says slowly I sit up so I can see him properly. "What did you do?" I ask frowning Zach shrugged "I just kept trying but it is probably because your arms are weak if you can strength them and your core then you won't have a problem again" he says he is sitting with his knees drawn to his chest his ankles crossed with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped.

I laugh a little "Who was I kidding I can't do this I can barely lift my school bag with one hand" I say looking down shaking my head "It gets better don't worry" he says brushing his shoulder against mine "Thanks" I mutter Zach gets up and looks back down at me offering me his hand to help me up I take it and let him effortlessly pull me too my feet "Go get back into your uniform I'll see you later" he says jerking his chin toward the bathroom. I nod and turn toward them before he can say anything else. I open the bathroom door to find most of the girls have cleared out the back door of the bathroom so I am alone. I grab the edges of the basin and look at myself in the mirror I have sweat shining at the hollow of my neck.

I have strips of hair falling out of the braid into my face. My face has a little shine to it like I've just dabbed it with a towel after getting out of a pool. I bow my head toward the basin and splash my face with cold water a few times before straightening up and using the hem of my shirt to wipe my face dry. I wipe the rest of my body dry too before getting dressed. I wet my fingers and push the pieces of hair out of my face. Ok I think to myself that is something you have to work on that's all and with that in mind I head toward the dining hall. Before I have time to even scan the crowd for Beth Alex is at my side he looks down at my rope burned hands "Fitness?" he asks I nod slowly but he gives me a reassuring smile.

Beth catches sight of me and practically jumps out of her seat to catch my attention I smile at her shaking my head. "Wanna meet my other friends?" I ask keeping my eyes on Beth, Alex shrugs "Sure" he says he follows my gaze to them and smirks a little but he trails behind me as I march toward Beth. I slip into the seat next to her and Alex slides in next to me "Beth Sasha this is Alex" I say looking at Sasha who is sitting on the other side of Beth "Alex this is Beth and Sasha" I say he nods and gives them each a smile "Oh and this is Clue, Clue this is Alex" I add as Clue comes in from the bathroom "Hey Alex" Clue says casually as she slides into the seat between Beth and Sasha. I grab a sandwich from the centre of the table and pour myself some apple juice. When I raise my head, Zach and a few of his friends sit across from us he gives me a small smile when he notices me looking and I smile back.

"So Sarah what's it like being such a legend?" Alex asks, Zach breaks his concentration on me and looks at Alex with uncertainty. I shrug "Well you know some auto graphs here some photos there" I say with a smile at him Alex smiles back and I can't help but laugh a little. I turn back to my food and start eating it Beth and Clue discus some kind of gadget they were using in class and Sasha cleans her glasses in silence. The other side of the table has more noise one of Zach's friends, a boy with light blond hair and eyebrows tries to wrestle another boy for the last fruit. A girl with midnight black hair that sits next to Zach slides a little closer when the other two boys start the play kind of fight "Sarah this is Lila Blossom" Zach says gesturing to the beautiful girl I feel annoyed even her stupid name is pretty. But I still look into her blue eyes and stretch out my hand "Well it turns out I owe Zach some money" Lila says with a soft laugh my hand stiffens in hers how is her laugh pretty and her voice? I ask myself "I did not think he really knew you" she continues as she lets go of my hand I give her a small smile "Well I am just like any other girl here" I say. She nods "Yeah that and much more" she says as she bites into an apple. "Owe" Lila snaps as she turns to look at the two boys one of them hit her leg. Zach rolls his eyes at them and puts his arm around her they do look well fitted with each other both of them are good looking and have blue eyes. "That's Seth and Leon" Zach says first gesturing to the boy with black hair and then at the boy who is holding the apple above his head. I nod watching them wrestle for a while.

"This is Beth, Clue, Sasha and Alex" I say pointing at them all separately. "Guys this is Zach and Lila" Sasha looks up when she hears her name and gives Zach and Lila a nod and a smile. Beth extends her hand and shakes both of theirs and Clue casually says "hey". "So what's Lila short for Delilah?" Alex asks leaning closer a little "Nope just Lila" she says with a sugary smile that makes me feel both sick and as though I want to lurch across the table and scratch her eyes out because she is so beautiful. I just smile at them instead and eat my lunch quietly.

The dining hall starts clearing out and I pull out my schedule I look down "Oh great I have combat" I say sarcastically looking up at Alex's big dark eyes trying to ignore Lila's laugh from across the table. "Don't worry you won't have to fight anyone in basic" Alex says brushing a strand of hair out of my face "Gee thanks" I say I had taken Karate classes for about eight or nine years and I was pretty good at it but I stopped because I didn't like hurting people and I chose to do dancing over that. I sigh trying to get the uneasy feeling in my stomach out. "We have PE so we will walk with you to the barn" Zach suggests at the word we my eyes immediately shift to look at Lila she does not look as though she could be any stronger than me but I still smile and give them a grateful nod.

'Well I guess I'll see you later" Alex says getting up I look up at him he looks stronger now that I am sitting and he is not but I smile and nod and watch him leave the dining hall. "Come on let's start walking" Lila suggests I turn to my other friends on my left and give them a smile "See you" I say as I get up at the same time as Zach and Lila. Zach takes Lila's hand and walks between us casually. I hum a song I have stuck in my head while we walk so that the silence isn't so awkward. "What song you singing" Lila asks leaning forward a little so she can see past Zach and look at me I stop humming and realize that I had been singing a song I hadn't sung for a long time.

I remember singing it with my parents I was sitting on the kitchen counters marble top with my legs swinging over the edge. My mother was making dinner and my dad was singing the song to me I would sing along when I wasn't giggling and my mother would chime in happily too. I smile into the into the distance my mother and I don't sing anymore in fact she doesn't even let me hum along to a song because I suppose it reminds her of him. I frown I wonder why she hates being reminded of him I on the other hand think about him all the time.

"Hello earth to Sarah" Lila sings "What song is that?" she repeats the question I shake my head to clear it of the memory "Something my father taught me" I say slowly I can remember all the words as if he sang them to me only the other day instead of eight years ago. I all of a sudden feel like crying, after eight years of crying my tears are not yet done I sigh but I don't hum again "It has a nice tune to it" Lila says with a smile at me I nod feeling Zach's strong gaze fall on me he knows what I am feeling right now so I can't help but wonder if his father taught him any songs or things like that. Lila giggles happily "So what are the lyrics?" she asks I frown at her I know all the lyrics but for some reason it is a part of my father that I want to keep, so I shake my head "I don't remember all of them" I say instead. Zach looks away from me and straight ahead I turn to see we are standing outside the barn. Lila grabs my hand "Come on let's go get dressed" she says I look at her how is she so happy? I used to be like that giggling all the time never sad around other people was I really this annoying? I wonder but maybe that is why Zach likes her because everything is colourful with her even if you don't feel colourful.

We walk into the bathroom and I drop my bag on the floor I slip off the uniform and into shorts and a tank top the shorts brush my thighs but at least it is easy to move in them I think. Lila wears a bright coloured tank top with a pair of tights the colour makes her hair look even blacker and her eyes a little duller but she still looks pretty. We walk out together she has this little spring in her step as though is easy for her to just let go and have fun. I see he coach but walk away to the other side of the barn where another teacher is standing. He is young probably very young twenties maybe even nineteen or eighteen. I stand in the line next to a group of girls who are whispering about him I roll my eyes shoving out their voices I suppose he is good looking though.

He has spiky brown hair with such light blue eyes if they were any lighter they might look white. "Right today you we will start with simple kicks and punches" he says he steps closer to a red punching bag as he adjusts his black mite he puts his hands in front of his face one a little lower to protect his lower organs he bounces lightly on the balls of his feet and then punches the bag quickly so fast his hand looks like a blur. I remember doing this at Karate it is built in me now no matter how hard I try to forget it. "Grab a bag" he says everyone fills out and stands in front of a bag I don't even have to think about how to do this it is natural to me so I just let it happen. I breath in and punch as I breathe out the bag is hard and rough beneath my mite but I don't mind it. The bag swings as I punch it breathing in time with my attack on the bag _"Try go through the target" _I remember my karate instructors voice telling me.

I don't stop not once I have found my rhythm my bounces seem to be in perfect timing with my hands three bounces and a punch three bounces and two punches. "Nice" the man says he stands behind my bag and holds it still so it is easier for me to punch my arms are aching but I don't stop I just keep to the rhythm "Sarah I presume" the man says he is defiantly young probably is about eighteen or nineteen. I nod bouncing lightly "Have you ever done this before?" he asks watching as my hand flies into the bag "Yes I did karate for a while" I say letting another punch fly. "Your good" he says "Thanks" I answer as he keeps walking.

"Ok stop" he says I turn and step closer with the rest of the class and I loosen the mites so they are hanging from my wrists I breathe in deeply wiping my forehead and licking my lip. I put my hands on my hips as I watch him demonstrate the next move which is a kick he swivels the foot on the floor so it is facing the opposite direction and his other foot slams into the bag he never drops his hands though. I remember having to practice kicking over and over again because my legs were always too long and weak for me to do it. I finally got the hang of it but my instructor told me I should keep practicing which I haven't done it a while so I don't think I will do as well in this one but still I go bag to my punching bag, before I kick I make sure I am not too far.

Then I do what he did ii swivel my left leg quickly and before I lose my balance I kick the bag as hard as possible the bag swings and I put my foot on the ground so I don't fall over again. Even after practicing in Karate my right leg was still not that good so I am afraid to try my left leg but I do and it works better than I thought. All I have to do is find my rhythm I think to myself I bounce up and down as light as possible I feel my braid hitting the back of my neck and as I kick again it goes flying and hits my jaw bone but I ignore it concentrate I tell myself I kick again and again and finally I find the rhythm and my kicks are perfect the bag is swinging like crazy when the man says "Ok go ahead and shower" I kick the bag one last time before dropping the mites into the box with all the others and walk to the bathroom.

I get into a shower and wash the sweat off with nothing but cool water I feel relaxed as I dry off and put my uniform on. Lila and Zach wait for me outside when I leave the showers "You did pretty well" Zach says "Yeah" Lila agrees with a nod "thanks" I say I didn't even notice them doing PE so I couldn't say the same to them. "What do you have now?" Zach asks I look at my schedule "Culture" I say frowning "What does that mean?" I ask "You know dancing acting all that kind of stuff" Lila says with a smile "Of course so after you attack each other spies go on to dancing" I say sarcastically "Makes perfect sense" I say "I agree" Zach says "But I think your friend Alex is inn basic Culture so maybe he will be with you" Zach says I nod.

We walk in silence toward the school building and stop at a brown door "Here we are" Zach says the class is right on the top level and is much bigger than the others he pushes the door open to reveal a beautiful dance studio. There are mirrors all along the walls and they line up with the light wooden floors the room is bright from the sunlight that streams in from the windows above the mirrors. I smile at it at least it is a class I know something about. I have been dancing since I could find my feet that and swimming I know I can do. "See you" Lila says and I don't turn back to watch them go. I just step into the class and smell the wooden floors. There is a group of girls sitting on the floor stretching but my eyes find Alex standing leaning against one of the mirrors watching me.

"Hey" he says "Hey" I say back "This is incredible" I say looking around the room "Yeah until we have to start dancing" he says I give him a smile and he grimaces "Let me guess you love to dance" he says trying to sound like a girl I roll my eyes "Yes exactly" I say honestly as I sit down and stretching my legs. "How are we supposed to dance in skirts?" I ask him looking up he shrugs "It depends what type of dancing we are doing" he says I nod I didn't think about that. "Line up class" a plump woman says as she walks into the studio I stand and we all walk to the centre of the room.

"Today we will start with a simple box step of the waltz and next lesson we will dance it with partners" she says she sounds excited about it but no one seems to share her enthusiasm. "Ok place your feet together and put your hands like this" she says as she lifts her hands in the same position she would if she had a partner. "One, two, three" she says counting the steps I do exactly what she does but like my dance teacher back home said I add some personality to it making it my own. This class is easier than the last few I don't even sweat a little.

We have gone through the box steps a number of times before she tells us we can go I drop my arms to my sides it feels strange after having them up for so long. The rest of the day we have fairly normal lessons like Math but for Language class we learn Japanese. I walk with Zach, Lila and Alex to the dining hall. "This week the language is French" Beth says to me as I sit down "We have to speak it in this room whenever we're here" she says to me it is rather clever I think it will probably insure we know the languages better. The week flies by so fast I can barely remember it. But it is Friday evening and I am heading toward the dining hall after I finally finished my homework with a lot of Sasha's help.

"Miss Hill" someone calls I look down over the banister of the staircase to see Mr Stevens looking up at me "Will you come see the Principle please" He says to me he stands with his arms folded over his chest I look at my friends who all look at me with wide eyes but I just say "I'll be at dinner soon" then I walk fast down the stairs and stop in front of the principal's office door I lift my hand and knock once before she says "Come in" I creek the door open and step slowly in I close the door behind me and look at Principe Bearn's smiling face "Hello Sarah come in sit" she says I nod and take a seat "How has your week been?" she asks me I look up and relax a little "It's been…. Good" I say slowly trying to choose the right word "Quiet and adjustment" I add she nods "I am sure" she says "All your teachers tell me you are doing very well" she says "And some have even asked if they can- but before she finishes her eyes rest on my aunts necklace that I have only been taking off to shower.

"That is a lovely necklace" she says she sounds distant "Oh thank you, it was my aunts" I say twisting my fingers around the watch face. She nods with a small smile "Where was I oh yes some of your teachers have asked if they can advance you" she says her smile broadens "So they will probably tell you that soon" she says "Thank you" I answer her slowly not sure what to say anymore. "I called you in here to make sure you were doing alright and I am glad to see you are" she says with a smile I nod taking it as my cue I get up and start toward the door "Oh Sarah" she calls I pause with my hand on the door knob and turn to look at her "Don't forget I'm here for you" she says slowly I pause my lips remembering my father tell me exactly the same thing every so often "I won't" I answer the same way I did my father.

I leave her office quickly I am shaking why is it that in this week at a new school I am reminded more of my father than when I was home. I walk I don't know where I am going I just put my head down and walk. "Oh Sarah- Clue starts but I just keep walking without looking at her I leave the dining hall only noticed by my friends and once I am outside I run I normally hate running I had always preferred to swim but I don't car I just run I run until my arms ach and my lungs burn and my legs are cramping. Then I come to a stop in front of the horse barn I hurl myself through the doors. I walk to Shadow and close my eyes feeling his breath on my cheek as I run my fingers in his glossy fur he nudges me with his nose.

"He seems to have taken a liking to you" someone says I jerk my head back to see Zach leaning against the door his arms crossed over his chest as he watches me. I feel annoyed looking at him why can't I just be alone for two seconds in this place? But I say nothing I just look at him and he just looks back. Longer than we should so long my body hurts from standing in the same position for so long Zach comes a little closer "So what's wrong?" he asks and I feel a little grateful it is him asking because if it was anyone else I would not have actually told them. "I keep on being reminded of him here like for some reason he is closer to me here than he ever has been anywhere else" I say I don't need to say it's my father for him to know who it is.

"What happened to him?" he asks gently if anyone else had asked the way he does I would never have answered but I know he does not say it that way because he feels sorry for me he just asks because he wants to know and it makes me feel better. "It was a car crash" I say "I remember the way my mother looked at me when she told me" I say shaking my head I brush a tear away and sniff a little trying hard not to cry as I see my mother's tear stained face and red eyes as she told me he was dead. "She looked me right in the eyes and didn't treat me like a six year old girl when she said Sarah dad is never going to come home" I explain to him "I know a part of me understood but I stood at the door waiting for him to walk in and spin me above his head" I say slowly. I don't look at him just right at Shadow like I am talking to him instead "What happened to your father?" I ask trying to forget about the night my mother told me.

Zach shrugs as I glance up at him he is now sitting on the door of his white horses stall. "My father was a spy he was shot in the head" he sighs "My mother told it to me straight but the way she looked at me still haunts me" he says with a shudder "She did not cry she wore the mask of a spy but her eyes went cold and I have never seen them warm up again" he says I shake my head trying to get all the memories out of my mind. Zach jumps off of the door and I am not even sure he has thought it through but he puts his arm around my waist he does not look at my teary face like he knows that I wouldn't be able to handle it as he draws me closer. I wrap my arms around his waist smoothly and rest my head above his heart. It doesn't feel wrong, standing there with Zach I know he is with Lila and so does he and there for we are nothing more than to friends comforting each other. I hear his heart beat and I don't need to cry anymore I inhale and exhale slowly taking in his sent as I do.

CHAPTER EIGHT

ADVANCING

I stand in the barn looking up at the rope I have been advanced in most of my classes and now I am going to advance in the others as well, I sprinted all the way here with my head phones in my ears. I have taken my I-pod out but it lies on my bag playing music I have always felt better when music is playing it makes me feel stronger and makes everything easier so I can find a rhythm. I count to three, _one, two, three _and then I run right at the rope I do not stop I just throw myself up and grab hold of the rope gritting my teeth as I slip down a little. I look up at the rope _how the hell am I going to get all the way up there? _I ask myself "It helps if you cross your ankles" Zach suggests I asked him to help me with this so I know how to do it next time. I don't look down when I feel his strong hands wrap around each ankle and he twists them around each other he steps back again and I try it like he has suggested.

I bend my legs and close my knees so the rope is trapped between them then I straighten them and pull myself up with my arms he was right it is much easier like this I have been trying to do this in my free time for three days and it has not worked but now that he is here to help I am already almost at the top. My hands shake and the rope is swinging beneath my feet but I push up one last time and touch the knot that secures it to a metal loop in the ceiling. "Ok now do the same to get down just in reverse" Zach calls up at me I nod and start my way down but I am barely three knots away from the top when my limbs refuse to move anymore they are too weak and they just shake. "Shit" I mutter before my hands go slack and I go flying to the ground I slam onto the floor hard, my head hits the floor just after my back has. I cough my wind has been knocked out again my head hurts but I still open my eyes to see Zach looking down at me the same way he had the first time I'd tried to get to the top of the rope. "I am going to need to teach you how to break your fall if you keep jumping off that rope" he says I know he is only half joking but I just lift my arms so he can pull me up again he wraps his fingers around my wrists and I do the same to him as he yanks me off the floor. "That's really going to hurt tomorrow" I say he shakes his head "Do you want to try the next thing?" he asks I look over his shoulder at the next obstacle.

It is a gymnastics bar but we have to do chin ups on it "Ok" I say with uncertainty he nods and watches me as I walk up to the bar it is high above my head even when I jump my fingertips barely brush it. I jump twice trying to grab a hold of the bar but before I can climb the side of it and slide along, Zach wraps his hands around my waist I can feel his breath on the back of my neck as we both bend our knees and I jump as he lifts me just that bit higher so I can grab hold of the bar. "Ok on three" he says to me as he steps away "One" he says slowly "Two, three" I bend my arms trying my best to get my chin above the bar but no matter how much I struggle I can't do it.

I am about to let go and give up for the day but Zach comes around the front so I can see him as he says "Swing your legs and use the momentum to get up there" I look at him blankly I have no idea what he means, he rolls his eyes and says "swing your legs" I do it holding on tight as I throw my legs forward and back again I used to do this on smaller bars at our school that were used to play on not to exercise on. "Ok now when your legs are behind you throw them forward and lift up" he says I do it as best I can and my chin brushes the top of the bar briefly. He smiles at me as I continue to do it my arms shake but the feeling of my body swinging is nice so I ignore it until I can't anymore I have to let go but I throw myself forward so I won't land on my back again.

I feel air born for a second like I am flying and then bam I'm lying on top of Zach "Owe" I say slowly feeling the pain from us colliding. Zach shakes his head at me and I roll over I lie on my back next to him after a while of us just lying there breathing Zach turns to look at me "Wanna go for a ride and continue this tomorrow?" he asks I nod. He gets up but I wait for him to put me on my feet I almost topple over and he has to keep his one hand on my waist. The hem of my shirt pulls up a little and his index finger brushes against my hip sending a shiver through me. He doesn't seem to notice so we walk to the barns. He has my bag and I clutch my iPod listening to the music still.

We walk into the barn and Shadow stomps his hooves as I approach him I smile at him "Hey boy" I say as I massage his ear Zach gives me this little smile and leads his horse out. I unlatch the door and let Shadow walk out to as I put my bag with my iPod in it into his stall. Zach saddles up Shadow for me without a word. I watch him as he mounts his horse the last time we stood in this barn I was crying into his t-shirt and since then he and Lila have been fighting I some- how think he was eager to come to day because he is trying to avoid her. I climb onto Shadows back with ease now, we have been doing riding in class and I find it easier to move around on his back now. Zach starts out of the barn and I follow I know where we are going so when Shadow starts to sprint I don't hold him back I just inhale rise exhale relax inhale rise exhale relax. I feel my necklace slamming against my chest as we ride.

I haven't opened it in a while and for some reason I get the feeling something is going to have changed when I do, like I am going to realize something the problem is I don't want to. Shadow slows to a stop without my cue and I look up we are here already in the small area with the tiny river. I get down from Shadows back and let him graze a little. I am used to people being far behind me when I ride Shadow because he is so fast so I do not worry when I can't here the hooves of Zach's horse pounding the floor. I just sit down with my right leg bent and my left straight. My left arm is supporting me and my right is draped casually over my knee. I don't turn around when I hear Zach walk toward me he sits down but I don't move that's what I like about being with Zach he never makes things wearied, if we are not talking it is ok. I watch the river the sound is not over whelming but instead calming and nice. I get up I don't even know what I am doing until my black shoes are lying on the river bank and my feet are being washed by the cooling water, it is a relief after exercising so much, like the water is washing away the pain and sweat making me feel like a new person.

I sink slowly to my knees so the water is covering my chest and lapping at my collar bone. I look up and see Zach he is just sitting there watching me like I am the most interesting thing in the world. I feel the end of my braid brush my back under the water but I am distracted because Zach comes slowly to sit in front of me I smile a little at him the water makes his loose shirt stick to him so I can see the muscles on his chest and along his core I have to peal my eyes from him. I look up at the willows above us and smile it's like we're in a whole new world here. "Follow me" Zach says he squeezes my wrist and then swims away I watch him for a while and then follow him, I haven't swum in so long it feels strange to my body for a little while but then it is easy.

I stop and look at Zach he is sitting on a rock just under a willow his legs still in the water though. I look around us we are in a sort of alcove it is like a room if someone were to stand on the river bank they would not be able to see it. "This is incredible" I say my eyes resting on Zach's again he nods I swim a little closer to him and look up at the stem of the willow. I get out a little and sit next to Zach on his rock for a while that is all we do just sit there letting our arms brush against each other's and just looking at the river.

"So you never told me" Zach says his eyes on me again "What's up with the necklace?" he asks I look down at the necklace and twist my hand around it I should probably not have swam with it but it looks fine. I shrug "My father gave it to my aunt and my step father who was my father's best friend said she gave it back to him and told him something but he didn't know what because he was a little private about her" I say it quickly I hadn't realized I've been wanting to tell Zach that for a while. "You never take it off?" Zach says I know he means it as a question "Yeah I feel like if I wear it somehow it will help me find her" I answer not looking at him. Zach frowns down at my hand that is around it "Why do you have to find her?" Zach asks "I don't know where she is all I know is my family abandon her and I need to know why" I say slowly.

Zach nods I am not sure if he understands though "Can I see it?" he asks "Yeah sure" I say I don't really want to take it off but Zach doesn't seem to mind the chain is long so he pulls the clock face away from my body easily he clicks it at the top and it falls open revealing the pictures I look away afraid of that feeling I have. "Sarah" Zach says so slowly and so carefully that I snap my head back around and look at the pictures without thinking "Oh god" I whisper my hand clamping over my mouth. Both Zach and I recognise the girl in the picture she was a stranger a while ago but now I know her as Principle Bearn. It all makes sense now I think to myself the things she says the way she speaks like she knows me and what she said only a little while ago all the same as what my father used to do.

"Oh my god" I repeat thinking of how on edge my mother was when we came to the school for the first time. I remember crying last week because I was being reminded so much of my father and now I know why… because I was with his sister… my aunt and Principle. Zach watches me like he knows what I am thinking he watches my face carefully and I am almost sure I know what he sees; he sees shock, sadness, fright but most of all he sees panic. "What am I going to do?" I ask "I mean what am I supposed to say hey Aunt Theresa, or should I run up to her and tell her how much she's changed, does she know who I am?" I say it all so fast I don't give Zach anytime to say anything but before I can continue his hand is over my mouth "Sarah, relax" he says softly he looks at me from under his eyelashes making his blue eyes stand out even more.

"What am I going to do?" I repeat slowly and quietly this time against his palm "I don't know" he says and his hand slides from my mouth along my body till his long fingers curl around my wrist in the water he is close so close we are breathing the same air. I all of a sudden don't care about Lila all I want is to close the gap between us. _No! No! No _I shout at myself in my head _you can't do this!_ But it is too late I have already pressed my lips to his, his hands slide up from my wrists slowly this time. They are cold and wet with the river water so my arms get goose bumps and a shiver goes up my spine. My brain is numb as my fingers twist around his waist and his find the back of my neck he pulls me closer and I don't even try to resist.

He stops all of a sudden a little sooner than I expected and I too jerk back realizing what just happened but he does not let me get too far his hands are still on me holding me close to him but we are both silent maybe we are both thinking how stupid that was or how we should not have done that I am about to say sorry to him and move away but he lets go of me and swims away before I can even form the words in my mouth. I know it was a mistake and there is a part of me that feels guilty for doing that to Lila but there is this bigger part of me that regrets nothing. My fingertips rest on my lips and I let my mind whizz around with the thoughts that make my judgments foggy as I stare at the water.

I have to get up though I know that much so I swim in the cold water to the other side of the river I don't wait till I am dry before getting onto Shadows back. I ignore how much I am slipping and sliding as we near the barn. My mind feels like a giant cloud has fallen over it like I am no longer capable of thinking any more. I walk toward the dorm house with my bag in hand. I open the door to the dining hall by now I am dry and saw and tired everyone is sitting at tables eating and chatting in German as usual but I can't bear the thought of eating now I start toward the door on the opposite side without letting my eyes search the crowd for my friends.

"Oh Sarah" someone says I stop and look down at the beautiful Lila and feel an immediate pang of guilt I have a sudden erg to just tell her what happened and get it done with but I can't so I just look down at my shoes and say "Yeah" slowly "Have you seen Zach I have to talk to him" she says she sounds desperate like she has never needed anyone more than she needs him now I lift my eyes a little but say nothing "I thought you might know because you have been spending a lot of time together" she says with a smile. How could I have done that to her I ask myself but I shake my head and say "No I don't know where he is" I sound tired and weak but before Lila can ask if I am ok I walk past her out the dining hall and up the stairs into my dorm room.

I still feel numb I don't feel sad or angry and I fight off the erg to dance around happily the way I used to when something happened with the boy I liked. _No _I shake my head _you don't like Zach he is just a friend _I say it to myself but no matter how hard I try I will never be able to convince myself. I walk into the bathroom and stand with my hands clutching the side of the basin and stare at my reflection. My hair has darkened in some places and lightened in others since I arrived here making my hair look brown with blond strands of colour. My eyes always have changed colour but today they are an unusual blue green colour. I am still the same girl who arrived here barely two weeks ago but I look a little different, I know so much more and I act different I don't act like a little girl who is happy about everything anymore I act like a girl who has grown up much too fast. I know this girl in the mirror and yet I am afraid of what she might become. I sigh I take the necklace off and put it down on the counter next to the basin before I shower.

The next morning I wake a little earlier than everyone else my back is saw from falling yesterday but I ignore it as I get dressed and ready. I feel nervous as we stand looking at the door that leads to the dining hall. I had made sure I was asleep before my friends came into the room last night so they would not ask me any questions but this morning I couldn't stop them from asking why I didn't eat I lied of course but I feel bad about it, but how can I tell them why I lost my appetite. We walk into the dining hall my eyes fall onto Zach's back immediately and I force them away "Hey" Alex says he walks up to us slowly "Hey" I reply with a smile.

It is easy to pretend everything is ok around Alex, he is easy going and funny so I am glad I have him around this morning. My eyes drift back to Zach he is sitting with his usual friends but Lila isn't even in the dining hall as far as I can see maybe they had another fight? If they did it is probably my fault and I don't want that especially not for Lila who is by far the sweetest girl I know. I sit and eat not because I am hungry but because I know I have too if I want to appear normal to my friends, Zach seems to be trying to do the same but when he turns around and his eyes meet mine he stiffens and turns away. "Come on" Sasha says to me standing next to my right shoulder "We should go" she says, I feel as though I am not really living my life like I am sitting on the side line just watching but I get up and leave the dining hall.

My first class is advanced combat we are supposed to be having real matches today and I can't help but feel a little jittery after all I am the weakest in my class. I don't realize Sasha has left my side until I am standing lined up with the rest of my class looking at the eighteen year old who is our instructor. I glance around me and find Lila standing at the far end on my right and for the first time ever she doesn't look the slightest bit happy and when I look to my left Zach stands with his arms folded not even noticing her. I shake my head _it is not your fault _I tell myself. "Adeline and Brent your up first" the instructor says we have two minutes for each fight and we must fight till the end.

I try to focus on the dark haired girl who starts making circles around a boy not to much bigger than her. People cheer for their friends as though it is fun to watch your room mate getting slapped in the face and knocked to the floor curled up in pain. I shudder it is horrible what a group of fourteen and fifteen year old children find entertaining here. "Sarah and Mary" the man says bringing me out of my day dream. I walk forward looking at my opponent a little scared she is much taller than me and is far stronger than I am but the whistle blows telling us to start the fight. I watch her carefully her right hand goes flying and if I hadn't ducked at the last minute it would have sunken into my nose.

But she unexpectedly kicks me in the ribs I gasp for air my hand clutching my side for a moment I have to counter I tell myself and without thinking I punch her in the throat she chokes and I leap back in fright I stopped karate because it scared me that I had the power to do that to people and here I am back where I started, while I am unaware Mary sweeps her legs on the floor beneath my own and I land on my back it is rather funny how the world seems to spin when you fall I think to myself. I look up and see Mary's foot aiming for my side I yelp and roll out of the way I scramble to my feet _come on Sarah focus _I shout at myself in my head as I raise my hands above my face again.

I kick her and flinch when I hear my foot smack into her ribs. She is getting angry I think as she comes at me this time I have nowhere to go I am backed up against a punching bag and her left hand stabs me in the stomach where as her right hand smacks my jaw bone. I feel the pain so suddenly I fall to the ground I see black dots everywhere as she lands the heel of her foot into my temple and I feel the soft matted ground under my cheek as I fall again. Now I can see nothing my entire vision is blackened. "Stop!" someone shouts I can't tell who I just let the blackness take me instead.

I wake up but I do not open my eyes I can feel two people holding my hands my right I can tell is Sasha because the hand is soft bony and delicate but the other hand I am not sure I know it is a boys maybe Alex but I can't be sure. My head is pounding in time with my heart I think I can even feel my temple moving my ribs ach like they never have before and my throat burns like mad. The person on my left touches my shoulder with his fingertips running them down my arm and I know who it is Zach, and he knows I am awake so I might as well just open my eyes. The room is bright the light is such a shock to me I have to blink a few times before I can even see.

I look first at Sasha then at Zach he gives me a weak smile and I try to smile to but it feels impossible. "What is the time?" I ask, Zach looks down at his watch twisting my hand around so he can see it "Five" he says I can tell he means in the afternoon because there is afternoon sun streaming in through high windows on the other side of the room "Where am I" I croak Zach takes his hand out of mine and reaches next to my bed grabbing something before he puts a cold glass of water in my hand but my hand shakes too much for me to be able to lift it so he wraps his long fingers around mine and helps me lift the glass to my lips. "You're in the hospital building on the other side of the school grounds" Sasha says.

"What day is it" I ask once I have finished drinking and Zach has put the glass down "Saturday" Zach says slowly I raise my eyebrows "I've been asleep for two days?" I ask shocked and panicked "Not quite" Sasha says "You woke up a few times before but only briefly when you were awake we got you to eat and Beth and Clue even managed to get you to shower" she says slowly with a nod "You were barely even conscious though" Zach says "What the hell happened to me?" I ask faster now, my head thrums and I let go of Sasha's hand to press my finger to my temple but as soon as I so much as brush my temple I wince from the pain and I pull my hand away "Well Mary gave you a pretty bad concussion" Sasha says. I nod a little but my head is too muddled for me to line up my thoughts.

"But don't worry he sorted her out" Sasha says looking at Zach I roll my head to look at him ignoring the pain in my ribs as I do, I look down at his hands and realize I didn't notice the cuts on them "What the heck did you do?" I ask Zach smiles a little "I just punched her in the jaw" he says shrugging "Yes making her unstable for a few hours and then he carried you all the way here" Sasha says I laugh a little and then wince again when I feel the shooting pain in my ribs. Zach brushes his hand over the exact spot they hurt and the heat from his hand feel soothing. "Where's Clue and Beth" I ask slowly my vision is getting a little blurry "They went to get us all food" Sasha says slowly "And Alex" I ask Zach and Sasha exchange a strange glance and I know something is wrong "Where is he" I repeat firmly this time.

"Well he and Zach had a few… words" Sasha says it so slowly I know there is more to it than that "What happened?" I asked look at Zach now "He was angry that Zach was trying to help you because in his mind he should have been the one" Sasha says I nod but my eyes are still on Zach. "Owe Clue!" I can hear Beth call from somewhere but I can't see her all I can really see are blurs of the door and beds. "I'll go get them" Sasha says and her warm hand is gone from mine and so is she. I take a deep breath and wince again but Zach doesn't move he just watches me making me feel like he can see nothing else.

I turn my head away from him and blink the clouds from my eyes as best I can just as the big wooden door opens and Beth and Clue come in carrying trays with food each. "Hey" Beth says softly to me I wonder how I look to her I am not much taller than her but I know just by looking at me people could tell I am weak in comparison. I force a smile on my face but my mouth only twitches weakly and I give up after a while. "How'd you feel" Clue asks me slowly setting her tray down on the foot of my bed I shrug a little and wince from the shooting pain in my ribs but I still say "I'll live". Clue nods and picks up a small plate with three pancakes on it they have chocolate chips that have melted on them and a plastic knife and fork lie on either side of it.

I pick them up and cut tiny pieces of the pancakes and eat them even slower but no one says anything they just let me eat slowly while they have muffins. I put my knife and fork down my tummy is full but I have not finished one and a half of the pancakes. "Who wants this" I ask slowly sliding the plate away "I'll have it" a rough voice says and I turn to look into Alex's dark eyes with a smile. He looks fine but there is a dark bruise under his chin he doesn't look at Zach as he comes around and takes the plate but Zach stiffens and fixes his eyes on my face. "I didn't think you would come to see me in here" I say looking at him Alex shrugs and brakes a piece of the pancake before popping it in his mouth "Yes well I wasn't going to let him stop me from coming to see you" Alex says slowly raising his eyes to look at Zach for a second.

I laugh lightly and wince from the pain I squeeze Zach's hand and he squeezes mine back the room is silent for a while and in that second my head feels heavier the pain in my ribs and the thrumming in my temple increase and I squeeze my eyes shut trying to force them to go away but I can't open them again.

My eyes flutter open and I glance around the room only Zach is sitting next to me it is dark outside and I wonder again what time it is. I look at Zach and he smiles "Where is everyone?" I ask he shrugs "The girls went up to shower and Alex left when you fell asleep again" he says I nod a little I feel stiff from lying in the same position so I put my right hand under me and push myself up I almost fall back against my pillow but Zach puts his free hand on the small of my back supporting me. I run my hands through my hair I feel a messy braid obviously after Clue and Beth got me to shower they must have braided my hair. "I want to go home" I whisper Zach and I both know I mean my dorm because that is my home now Zach strokes my head smoothing out my hair as he says "I know" I look at him and don't even think about how the next thing will sound it just falls out "Take me home" I ask Zach laughs a little and kisses my cheek bone "The nurse says she wants you to stay here for tonight and possibly tomorrow night" he says. I shudder I don't want to have to stay in here for much longer. I just want to get back to school and my normal life and I have to advance in my other classes how am I going to manage to be in my already advanced classes when I can barely breathe without shooting pain in my side.

"Well honey it is good to see you awake" A woman's voice says I shift my head slowly and watch a plump woman in a nurse's outfit come closer with a sweet smile. "I'm nurse Maggi" she says she sets a tray down next to my bed "I'm sorry but you have to go now" the nurse says looking at Zach with a smile he nods and gets up but before he leaves his fingertips brush the bruise on my temple. "Here I brought you something warm to drink" the nurse says as she hands me a steaming cup of tea "Thanks" I say taking the cup with both hands. She smiles at me a little then puts a medicine bottle next to my bed. "Take one of these with that" she says handing me a tiny white pile I turn it around in my hand "What does it do?" I ask slowly "Well it should numb the pain a little" she says I smile gratefully and swallow it with a gulp of hot tea.

"You have good friends you know" the nurse says as she tucks the bottle into her pocket "There is always one here at your bedside" she says to me I smile "I know" I nod "Especially that lovely young man" she says as she winks and walks away I laugh lightly not wincing because the medicine seems to have helped. I sip my tea in silence as I look at the windows high above the beds across from me I think I can just make out the tip of the dorm house but I am not sure.

I open my eyes slowly "Good morning honey" the nurse says when she sees I am awake "Morning" I say slowly pushing myself to sit up. "I have told your friends they can take you back to your dorm" she says I smile at Beth and Sasha brightly and they smile back "But I think you should stay in bed for today and if you don't feel good tomorrow as well" the nurse says I nod "Oh and take these you can only have one every two hours but only take it if you need it" she says handing Beth the bottle of medicine.

She leaves my bedside and I eagerly get out of bed my feet are bare and cold on the tiled floor but I wear long black tights and a white top. I take a few steps but maybe too fast because my head spins and I stumble grabbing onto the end of my bed. I close my eyes feeling the pounding in me temple and I breathe in, out, in, out as I finally open my eyes. Zach stands in front of me he has his ankles crossed with his right hand holding the side of my bed. I try and force myself to only look at him but everything is spinning. Spinning, I hate spinning it always makes me feel nauseous I think to myself and as I do I close my eyes feeling the cold floor on my knees.

Zach steps closer he takes my hand with his left hand and he puts his right arm around my shoulders as he lifts me off the floor. I open my eyes the spinning has not stopped but Zach holds me close to his side and it makes it easier for me to walk but I have to shut my eyes to get rid of the dizziness Beth and Sasha are on my right side and I can feel them as Zach half drags me out of the room. We walk for a long time Zach picks me up so my feet are only brushing the stairs as we go down. I hear the creek of a door and my toes are brushing grass I breathe in the air happy to feel the sun on my face. I tip my head back and open my eyes again this time nothing spins I still feel dizzy but I pull away from Zach and shakily walk on the green grass.

I feel as though every step I take I am becoming stronger like the air and the sun and the grass and the birds make me alive. I smile a little and walk with more certainty now I look around me as we all walk taking in every smell every sound and every feeling and it occurs to me that this is my life and I like it. Like I have woken from a daydream my eyes focus more and my brain works like it should I feel better just by walking just like Zach told me I would when I was home sick. I let the sun wash over my arms and let the air sink into my paining lungs.

We reach the dining hall a little sooner than I would have liked it must be lunch time because people walk in and out as the finish lunch. I press my hand to the wooden doors and swing them open I am barely a foot in the door way when someone runs up to me and hugs me I react automatically and rap my arms around Lila's small body. "How do you feel?" she asks as she pulls away I expect to feel guilt as I look at her but I don't whatever is going on with her and Zach has nothing to do with me and I know that "Well I have been better but I don't feel bad" I say she smiles she is still happy and bouncy but she doesn't look at Zach as she brushes past us.

"Well welcome home" A rough voice says I turn slowly knowing who it is Alex holds out an apple to me with a smile "Thanks" I say taking the apple with a small smile Alex nods then his eyes shift to Zach and says "well I guess I will see you later" I nod as Alex leaves the dining hall. "Come on Sarah let's go upstairs" Beth says to me I nod and take a bite of the green apple as we walk to the other side of the dining hall. We start up the stairs and a girl comes flying down them I want to move aside but I have no space too so as she runs past the corner of the book she carries hits my temple. The pain is quick, it is the dizziness and spinning that comes after that, which makes me clutch the banister and sink to my knees. I squeeze my eyes shut sure I am going to throw up I can feel the blood drain from my face and I have no doubt that I am pail.

I can hear Beth and Sasha saying something but I don't know what all I can do is feel Zach's arms wrap around my waist and shoulders as he lifts me easily off the ground. I rest my head against his shoulder as he climbs what is left of the stairs. I hear our door open and close but I keep my eyes shut. "This is her bed" I hear Clues voice and a second later Zach puts me gently down on my bed. I breathe for a while until the dizziness passes and my friends wait inn silence until I open my eyes to see all my friends spread out, Beth sits on the foot of her bed with her hands on her knees, Clue and Sasha sit together in the corner and Zach sits at the edge of my bed holding a glass of lemonade with ice cubes bobbing around in it.

I push myself up a little so I am lying with my elbows holding my upper body up. I glance around the room the small desk has been cleared and there is cake and lemonade and cool drinks set up on a red polka dotted cloth. There are streamers on the ceiling and the lights are on dim I look at Clue and smile "Was this you?" I asked she nods with a little giggle. Sasha skips over to the Hi Fi and turns on the music it is soft but still fills the room Clue pours drinks for everyone and Beth cuts the cake. I smile at them gratefully as I take them "You know this dorm was getting really boring without you" Sasha says as she sits back down I laugh and then wince Zach gives me a small smile as he touches my cheek. As I look around I realize this is my real family and we are all together in my real home no matter what my mother thinks this is where I belong the thought almost brings me to tears but instead I laugh and smile with my family.

"Good morning" Clue says chirpily as my eyes open slowly I look around the room it is bright with sunlight but the room has been cleaned up and Clue is the only one here with me "Why aren't you at school?" I ask sitting up a little to look at her. Clue shrugs "Principle Bern gave us permission to miss certain classes so someone could be with you all the time Clue smiles brighter. At the sound of my aunts name my hand immediately curls around my necklace "Beth will take the next turn then Sasha" Clue says in a happy voice I frown a little "You we wanted to get Zach permission too but he isn't even supposed to be on this floor" Clue continues "But don't worry he will probably come see you as soon as possible" Clue says with a smile at me she has a circle of magazines spread around her and she is in her slippers but other than that she is all ready for school.

"So speaking of him what is with you two are you like a thing now" Clue babbles a little I look at her wide eyed I hadn't thought of it I don't know myself what we are but I decide not to try and figure it out now instead I get up slowly and walk steady footed to the bathroom I ignore Clue's singing as I get into the shower. The hot water burns my temple but it is bearable so I stay in the shower as long as possible when I get out I don't wrap myself in a towel right away first I look into the mirror. My hair is a wet tangled mess but at least it is clean now. My temple is red and purple and blue and a little swollen but my ribs are the thing that makes me gasp. There is a long purple, blue, red and yellow coloured bruise that is not to big but impossible to miss.

I dress quickly my ribs are not too sore anymore and my temple only throbs when I bump it. I walk out in my tight leggings and black top Clue looks up from whatever it is she is reading "So you didn't answer my last question" She says I roll my eyes "Does it really matter that much" I say sounding as board as I can manage "Oh don't pull that on me I know you are a girly girl beneath that" Clue says gesturing to me I raise my eyebrows "Ok your right so?" I say as I sit down to dry my hair "Well- but I cut her short because I turn on the hairdryer.

I wake up to bright light that stings my eyes I groan a little as I sit up but I still climber out of bed and get ready for school. I am tired of missing everything and I don't want to have to wait till my friends say I am ready before I go to school. Beth is already dressed and sits with Sasha talking about a program or something as Clue does her hair. My bruises have faded a little they are still visible but they don't look fresh.

"Come on" I says hauling Sasha up from where she sits cross legged with Beth "Let's go" I continue Clue waits for us in the hall with her hair done in a bun. We walk down the stairs in silence but I don't mind the quiet for once. Breakfast is just as silent Zach sits two tables down he does not glance at me or wave he just acts as though he doesn't know me I can't help but wonder if I did something wrong but I shake my head and take a bite of toast he probably just wants time with his friends I reason with myself in my head. As I walk silently alone to the PE barn I realize how I feel as though I am at home as though I never knew another place before only a few weeks ago as if Johnny never existed as if my friends never really knew me but more than that, it feels as though I didn't know myself. I shake my head to escape the strange daze and look up at the doors.

"Well hey Sarah how are you feeling" Lila says giving me such a bright smile I can't help but smile back she looks prettier today her hair is clipped away from her face but it still hangs between her shoulders. Her eyes are more of a subtle blue and her full lips have a slight shimmer to them. "I feel… better than I ever have" I say to her putting my index finger on my chin to make it seem as though I am thinking. Her smile widens "Amazing" she says and she turns and skips over to Zach. They look at each other as she slips into line and I feel something strange in my stomach almost like an uneasy movement inside and I realize what it is as quickly as it came I am jealous of Lila's beauty and happiness but most of all her connection with Zach that I will probably only ever dream of understanding.

"Today I will be timing each of you to get through the obstacle course" our coach says as he swings his whistle around his index finger and his eyes drift over his students. His eyes rest on me and I try not to look at him I don't want to draw attention to myself for some kind of reason "Sarah you can sit out if you are not ready to do this yet" he says he sounds like he is only trying to think of what is best for me but I feel my blood boil I hate it when people just assume I can't do things _deep breathe take a deep breathe _I tell myself as I do it I say "I am alright thank you" I t is true though yesterday afternoon I came here all alone and completed the course I'd done it with a lot of difficulty but I had done it.

I am only the eight person to be going so I sit back on the bench and listen to the blowing of our coaches whistle and the sound of people smacking bags on the other side of the barn I force myself to push the erg to look at Zach and Lila out of my mind. "Sarah your up" coach says I nod slowly and get up _I can do this _I think to myself as I walk to the far end of the barn where the obstacle starts I catch sight of Zach walking to the side leaving his punching bag swinging. The first few things are easy I am not a good runner but I am fast enough and I can do all the exercises easily but I hesitate a little looking up at the rope I sigh _ok run for it _I say to myself I imagine a song playing in my head as I throw my body at the rope.

I grab on easily but I still slip down a little _ok, how did you do this again? _I ask myself and my legs automatically close around the rope and I move toward the last knot in a hurry. The rope leaves my hands red and stinging but I ignore it as I fling my body as high up as possible so my shaking fingers can close over the gymnastics bar. I start to swing I am looking straight forward but I can still see the coach standing with a stop watch in my right eye and Zach standing cross armed in my left. I lift my chin above the bar breathing in and out in and out as I go along I count them and once I have finished I let go bending my legs as I land smoothly on the ground I lift my head and look at my coach he grins at me "Well that was very impressive" he says I smile and I think I can see Zach smile to but I can't be sure. I move to the next obstacle slowly the gymnastics bar is higher than I thought the last time I'd done this Zach had to help me get on.

I cling on and start to swing quickly and once I get the momentum I throw my legs and pull myself up I can't help but laugh a little as I count the tenth pull up the coach blows his whistle and I let go of the bar without another though I land easily on my feet. I follow the flow of students to the showers the water feels nice on my skin it stings a little but I like it and I am the last person out I wrap my towel around my body and change into my clothes as quickly as possible, I have always hated the last part of PE when we have to shower in one bathroom but I guess I have learnt to work with it now.

The day flies by so fast I can barely remember anything but we sit in the dining hall I am so tired my head is almost falling in my food I am not eating but the salad I got is placed neatly before me. My eyes sluggishly look around the room it is buzzing with conversation but my mind cannot concentrate on one voice. "Hey Sarah" Beth's voice shakes me out of my daze I look at her my eyes feeling heavy "What's going on with you and Zach?" she asks it takes me by surprise I cock my head to the side and raise an eyebrow I guess I wasn't the only one that noticed Zach wasn't talking to me. "You guys have barely even looked at each other" she says it slowly I suppose so she can be sure I understand I shake my head "I have no idea Beth maybe he just had a busy day" I say stifling a yawn Beth shrugs and gives me a small smile "Maybe you should go to bed sleepy head" she says I can see in her eyes that behind the act that she has dropped the topic her mind's wheels are turning, but I still nod and drag my body out of my seat.

The sun is bright, streaming into the room. I sit up and glance around the room I am alone, Clue's bed is left unmade Sasha's has a pile of books on her bed and Beth's is covered in magazines I yawn and crawl out of bed getting ready quickly I have wanted to go to the library the whole week and now I guess I can. I trail my way to the library slowly not really paying attention to where I am going.

It smells nice in the library for some reason sought of comforting there are students scattered around the library. My footsteps are muffled on the carpet as I walk toward the shelves and rows of books soon I loose myself in a book. I am sitting on the carpet with a circle of books around me all of them open I am hunched over and my chin rests in my hand which is on my knee. "Hey" a whispered voice makes me jump I turn to look up to see a boy, he has sandy brown hair that is tousled, his eyes are a warm kind of brown-green colour he gives me a shy smile and shows his dimple. "Tony" he says and he extends his hand to me I smile back "Sarah" I say and I shake his hand "Um" he says nervously then his eyes shift to one of the books in front of me "I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go for a walk.. Or something but it looks like your buzzy" he says.

I shake my head "No actually I was going to get something to drink want to come with?" I ask his eyes light up and he nods. He helps me off the floor almost lifting me right off my feet then we quickly we put the books back together. I walk silently by his side as we walk along the corridors "So you're the Sarah Hill everyone is talking about?" he asks I nod with a little smile "You advanced in all your classes in only a few weeks right?" he asks and I shrug "Yeah" I say "That's kinda a big deal" he says as I grab us both a glass of apple juice. We start walking again with our juice in our hands "What year are you in?" I ask "Last year" he says which means he's about eighteen I nod and we carry on walking.

"So how did you land up here" I say gesturing to the school around us he laughs "My brother broke into the school and when they found out they offered him a spot he of course took it and I joined him" Tony says I laugh it is kind of a funny story. We walk along the path slowly "How about you?" Tony asks "I heard you were invited is that true?" he says I smile and nod "Yeah I was" he gives me this strange "You know your kind of a legend" here he says. I take a sip of juice and shrug "So I've been told" is all I say and he smiles. "So your pretty, a legend, smart, funny and you're humble" he says "You're like the perfect package" I can't help but laugh though I know I am blushing too. He smiles at me "So tell me about you" he says and he sits down on one of the benches relaxing a little.

I bite on my lip "Well I am just your average fourteen year old girl" I say with a shrug "Except you're a spy and you haven't even been one for a year yet and your already a legend" he says. "Yeah that" I nod "Yeah but what was life like before you came here" he asks it is a good question and I can't think of a good answer so all I say is "Boring" he looks at me the sun touching his face "Boring?" he asks and I nod. "How?" he asks and I try think of an example "Well here the biggest worries are not being knocked out in combat class, staying in the advanced stage or like not falling off a horse when your holding knives" I say "But the biggest worries there were keeping your reputation, boys, clothes stupid things like that" is all I say and I think it feels like years ago since I worried about that stuff Tony laughs "So you were like one of those typical girly girls?"

I smile "Yes I was. But I am so glad I am not anymore" I say. He smiles "Yeah those girls are really annoying" he says I laugh but I can't help but wonder if I would think my friends were annoying when I see them. We talk for a long time and I sit next to him on the bench when Beth and Sasha come around the corner with grins on their faces. I smile when they get closer to us and they look at me then at Tony and back. "Time for dinner" Sasha says sweetly and I nod I look at Tony as I get up but he doesn't move "I'll see you around" he says the sun in his eyes as it sets. I nod and walk between Beth and Sasha to the main house "What did you guys do today?" I ask Beth shrugs and just says "Nothing interesting well not as interesting as talking to Tony Fasters" she flashes me a grin.

"But we should warn you he has a reputation" Sasha adds thoughtfully "Just before you get any fancy ideas" she says Beth nods in agreement. I shake my head but stay silent, I don't like to listen to peoples reputations I prefer to get a feel for them on my own and just because I was talking to him means nothing. I sit with the three of them and simply listen to the dinner conversations.

I roll over in my bed groaning on Monday morning my alarm beeps loudly by my side I slam my hand down on the top making it shut up. Sasha comes into the room it is evident she has come from a jog, Beth is up and getting her uniform skirt on and Clue runs a comb through her knotted hair. I crawl out of bed unwillingly and get ready slowly Beth walks over to the calendar set up next her bed and crosses off today "Guys we only have two weeks left of semester" she says and she sounds just as shocked as I am. My eyes immediately flicker to my aunts necklace that I have tucked away in my drawer, I have to talk to her but I haven't yet plucked up the courage to and I need someone there for moral support the only thing is the one person who knows about it isn't talking to me. I push the thought out of mind I just need to think about getting through today I think to myself and with that I march out the door with my friends.

The dining hall is crowded with people the hum of conversation buzzes loudly in my ears as I take a seat my eyes skim over the crowed I am not sure what I am looking for but I don't stop till my eyes rest on the back of Zach's head he sits with Lila and three of his other friends I watch him for a second then Alex cuts my view of him with a big goofy smile. I smile back at him I am glad to have a friend like Alex he is always happy and not in the annoying Lila kind of way. "Good morning" he says happily "Hello" Sasha says and I notice how wide her smile is as she looks at him it makes me feel giggly the same way I used to feel when one of my other friends told me they liked someone. Beth glances at Sasha supresses a laugh but says nothing to her.

"So what are you all doing for the holidays?" Alex asks I am about to answer but Sasha jumps to attention first "I'm going on a long road trip with my cousins" Sasha says giving him a little smile. "Clue and I are going to our resort" Beth sings Alex looks at me expectantly "I am probably going to hang out at home with my old friends and my mother" I say slowly. Alex nods then his smile brightens "I am going on a mission" he says almost bouncing out his seat with excitement. "Wow! Really what's it for" Sasha says way to enthusiastically and they launch into a huge conversation.

I start my walk to fielding class slowly my bag weighs down my shoulder as I round the last corner to where the class normally meets I stand amongst the large crowd after dumping my bag down. "Ok everyone grab a weapon" our teacher says I look at the table with weapons set out on it I find it a little strange how all the classes seem to tie into each other here. I walk slowly toward the table and my eyes skim through the weapons I think of weaponry class and how good I was shooting with a bow and arrow. My hand closes around the bow and I sling the sheath around my shoulder I fight to get behind the rest of the crowd. "Right get on the horses" the teacher orders which of course causes a burst of conversation amongst the students.

The horses are lined up a few metres away and I run to get Shadow first. "Ok you will be riding through the obstacle course with no preparation of what is in there" the teacher says and everyone starts talking again "Just think of it as a spot test" he says I and everyone else falls silent. "Oh and if you are scared to do this wait until your final exam" he says with a little chuckle. We line up at the edge of the obstacle course which is hidden by a forest of trees I mount Shadow holding him steady beneath me and putting the bow across my body I feel tall and strong on Shadow's back. The line of students shortens as they go into the obstacle course and soon the teacher calls "Sarah your up" Shadow walks slowly toward the entrance at my command and I take a look though there is nothing to be seen but the forest. I squeeze my knees together and Shadow jerks to motion he moves smoothly at a medium pace. I take the bow off my shoulders and place the arrow in it I balance the bow and arrow on my leg and Shadows back and I use one hand to hold Shadows reigns. I hear a click sound and I automatically hold the bow up ready to shoot Shadow slows slightly when I tug gently on the reigns I look around the forest looking for anything and noticing everything.

Then I see it, what they want me to shoot the only thing is I am not sure I can, it's a young woman. She is pretty her black hair flows to her waist in tumbles and knots, she wears a silver dress that has been ripped at the ends and is stained with blood I don't want to know who's it is. Surely this is a mistake this girl is so realistic she cannot be fake but still I aim the arrow at her and watch her flinch immediately "What are you doing here?" I ask my voice shakes slightly but it still sounds fierce and scares me a little. Her eyes widen as she looks at me, she looks as though she hasn't eaten in days and it makes me want to help her she is vulnerable and much too young to be a danger. "I… I am lost" she says I frown I don't know what kind of sick person would think of doing this I lower my bow only slightly though "Where did you come from?" I ask she shakes her head and looks nervously behind her "He's coming" she sounds frantic.

She is looking everywhere "Who are you running from" I ask she looks at me again her eyes strikingly panicked "Him!" she yells and I turn to see the man lunge at me he looks vicious and dangerous but I don't have time to shoot him he knocks me right of Shadows back and I gasp for air. I watch him winded and so shocked I feel numb, as he stumbles over to the woman and she thrusts her hand at him she screams but not out of pain it is out of victory the man's body falls to the floor already a small pool of blood collecting around his middle. She bears her teeth at me a wild look in her eyes I clutch the bow and arrow in my hands they are sweaty and shaking but I ignore it as she comes closer to me she only holds a small knife. Which means I am at an advantage I can attack from farther away however I don't think I am even capable of doing it "Stay back!" I shout at her "I will shoot" I threaten but she laughs at me it is a strange laugh strangled and scary.

I stumble back slightly and she sees her opportunity, lunging at me with all her might I close one I and try control my breathing as I aim the arrow at her I have to do it I know but I cannot watch so as I let the arrow fly I close my eyes and just listen to the scream and the thud as her body hits the ground. I open my eyes slowly her body lies only a few feet before me I shudder. I cannot see her face because of the hair covering her it, her hands are still closed around the knife her knuckles pail and white I walk over to her I am not sure what I hope for, maybe that I did not just kill this young woman. I touch her forehead and brush all her hair a side I gasp and stumble back against a tree again I could see the arrow in her head before, but now I can see the impact it had the way it imbedded itself into her skull. Her eyes are cold with death and her face drips with blood, I cannot look at her anymore I mount shadow and keep riding. I cannot breathe and my side hurts from where I landed I am to numb to feel anything else like all my emotions have just shut down.

I ride till the end of the obstacle course with ease though every time I close my eyes even for a second I can see her face, where the arrow hit, her stone cold eyes, how skinny she was, I can her the scream of pain and feel the slight shudder of the ground as she fell. Finally I find the exit of the forest I am gasping for air by now I don't know if it's from exhaustion from riding or from the fact that I just killed someone. The teacher stands his eyes wide he looks both impressed and furious but I don't say anything as I dismount Shadow my emotions still feel numb and dead but my entire body hurts and my legs shake. "Class dismissed" the teacher says I cannot tell what his tone of voice means but before I walk passed him to put Shadow in his stable he stops me "Sarah give your horse to someone and come with me" he says I look at the closest student who looks shocked and a little frightened I don't know if she went into the obstacle before or after me but I just hand her Shadows reigns and watch her retreat.

The teacher starts toward the main school building and I follow without a word I don't want to talk to anyone I feel like if I open my mouth my entire body might fall apart. The school is cool inside; we join an ocean of children chatting as they find their way to their next classes the teacher turns down a quieter passage and I follow him he continues until we stand outside the door at the end of the hallway. He pauses before throwing the door open "Are you insane?" he asks someone inside the room I creep in behind him and see he talks to a skinny man he is rather young. He looks at me his eyes weary I look around the room it is crowded with computers and strange kind of technology I have never seen before. "What do you mean?" the young man asks I watch my teachers body tense and relax like he is trying really hard not to hit the man. "I mean putting her through that are you crazy?" my teacher snaps at him as he gestures to me, the skinny man's eyes rest on me I cannot read the expression on his face but I couldn't really care what it is. "The point of the obstacle course is to test each student according to their strengths and weaknesses" he answers he makes it sound simple but what I saw in there was nothing simple.

"It is designed to push them past their boundaries so they know what they are capable of" he explains slowly and I am not sure if he is only doing it for my benefit or not "Sarah has few boundaries and our job is to test how far she can push or how much she can handle and she passed with flying colours". I flinch as he says it so that's how they describe killing someone _"Passing with flying colours"_ I readjust my position and look at him more steadily now. "I don't care! You don't put a fourteen year old girl in that position" my teacher snaps the man shrugs "Her obstacle was extremely advanced for the average fourteen year old but still she coped".

"If this is what you call coping I would hate to see what not coping looks like" my teacher says and they both turn their attention to me I can only guess what they see, a girl standing before them a few scrapes and bruises but barely harmed visibly however her expression cold and dead just like the eyes of the woman she just killed. I feel nothing though nothing but the shutdown of my emotion "She is coping much better than expected" the skinny man says thoughtfully "Oh good I am glad so if you expected her not to cope well then why the hell did you do that?" my teacher asked the man shrugs "I was interested how she would do and she did well". He smiles at me but I only raise an eyebrow at him unimpressed my teacher sighs and says something Spanish to the man and he only nods back then my teacher looks at me "He will take you to the hospital to get cleaned up I have a few classes but as far as I am concerned you are excused from school for the rest of the day" he says and I nod but say nothing.

The man and I stand in a strange silence for a moment then he says "I'm Benny by the way" I can't even force a smile as I say "Nice to meet you" he nods at me and turns to the door "come on I'll take you to get cleaned up" he says and I follow him out the door, into the passage and into the garden. We wind down the paths to the hospital building in silence, it smells like disinfectant in here and it burns my nose every time I breathe, a short plump nurse comes running toward us "My word honey what is the world happened to you?" she asks but before I can say anything she pulls me over to a small room with a bed and a whole lot of weird doctor stuff. I didn't think I had looked that bad but as I sit across from a basin that has a little mirror above it I can see how white I have gotten it makes the dark red blood that matters my hair look redder than it is. There already dark blue bruises visible on my arms and my neck, the nurse washes her hands and get to work first on the cut in my hair line.

"What in the world happened?" she asks as she antiseptic along the bruises for what I don't know. "She went into the obstacle course" Benny says standing in the door way one shoulder against the frame the nurse stops for a moment and looks at Benny. "I don't get girls this young with so many bruises and cuts after the obstacle course in here very often" the nurse says continuing "Yes well not many girls her age go through the obstacle she just did" Benny says the nurse shakes her head but says nothing until she is finished. "Here you are honey this is for the pain I suggest you don't take more than one every two hours" she says handing me a box of little capsules "Thanks" I say as I get off the bed slowly. She gives me a weak smile as I pass her and I catch her in the corner of my eye shooting Benny a furious look.

Benny walks silently by my side as I trail along out of the building. "It's ok I can walk on my own" I say to Benny after a while he stops and looks at me now "I owe you a huge apology I thought you were strong enough to handle that but I was wrong and I am so sorry to put you in that position" he says his eyes trailing the ground all of a sudden my emotions spike and the first thing I feel is fury the thought of him thinking I am weak makes my entire body shake with anger. "I handled that perfectly well thank you!" I snap at him he looks at me his eyes wide "Sarah that's not what I-" he starts but I don't let him finish "I am stronger than any of you think" I say my voice is not raised, instead it is low, dangerous and venomous. My body automatically sizes him up he looks only a few years older than me maybe young twenty's he is skinny and I am sure I am much stronger than him.

He shakes his head "Sarah" he doesn't try to sound gentle like he is comforting a child instead he talks to me like an associate and it makes me calm down but only slightly "I don't think you understand what you forced me to do" I say slowly he gives me this strange knowing little smile "She wasn't real" he says it softly now, then, before he walks away he says "Come see me tomorrow after your done with classes". I watch him walk away I walk slowly back to my room I can't eat not when every time I close my eyes all I see is her. I slip my clothes off when I stand in the bathroom, I turn on the shower taps and turn around to see the bruise on my neck continues to my shoulder and there is a long bruise that runs over three of my ribs and the red of my blood still clumps in my hair. I get into the shower eager to wash the blood away.

I fell asleep quickly but it wasn't long before I woke up gasping for air the image of the woman burnt into my vision. The room is silent and dark I lye back down but I am too afraid to fall back asleep so after a while I get out of bed pull a hoody over my pyjama shirt and slip my feet into sandals outside the room is colder but the entire building is deathly silent and it makes me shudder to think of death so I start walking I am not sure where I am going before I freeze in front of a door my hand positioned to knock. It's Zach's door I know it is and I want to talk to him but I can't so I drop my hand miserable. "Sarah? What are you doing here" a hushed voice asks I spin around and stand face to face with Zach I just stand and look at him for a while "You can't be here why are you here?" he asks glancing around him like someone would be watching us in the dead of night. "I-" I start but I stop myself before I sound stupid so instead I shake my head look down at the ground ashamed and start walking past him but before I can leave he grabs my elbow.

He sighs "I didn't mean it like that Sarah, come on let's go talk outside" he suggests and he looks around him again. We slip out the basement door that none of us are supposed to know about. The cool night air wraps around me and I shiver a little as I follow Zach into the darkness I stumble behind him not sure where we are going but he walks sure footed and steadily through the trees finally he stops in a little opening amongst the trees and he turns to look at me. "What happened?" he asks gently now and all of a sudden tears flood to my eyes and I have to fight them off as I tell him what happened but by the time I get to the part where I kill the girl tears come pouring out uncontrollably. I try to tell him about Benny but then I figure it doesn't matter and instead concentrate on not crying Zach watches me for a short moment like he is deciding something but still he wraps his right arm around my waist and pulls me to him. I rest my head against his chest and his left hand runs smoothly over my hair as I cry.

The sun stings my eyes on Tuesday morning I am still exhausted probably form up with Zach late but I'd mostly just cried my eyes out and when I had no more tears left we'd just sat there until I drifted off to sleep with my head in his lap I'd woken up when he was half way to my room with me in his arms. I have to manoeuvre out of bed awkwardly before I can stand. All the beds in my room are empty and I know they must have heard something had happened to me or they would have woken me up. I sigh I was really hoping this time it wouldn't have gotten all around school.

Breakfast is already over by the time I get down stairs and most of the students have made their ways to class. I walk quickly to my first class well as quickly as I can with a swollen and looks at me I glance at the projection screen I can tell we are supposed to be trying to navigate our ways out of some kind of mental maze. "Sarah please take a seat" the teacher says she acts normal like she has no idea about what happened yesterday I smile a little grateful and sit at the back. The students look away from me quickly and back at the screen "You ok?" Beth whispers after a while I turn to look at her with a smile "Yeah" I answer but not even I think it sounds convincing. She nods "I heard your obstacle course was a little tough" she says I think of the shrill the woman made when she thrust the knife at the man, the pool of blood around his middle and her stone cold eyes with the arrow sticking out of her forehead just above them but I just shrug "Yeah" I say.

The classes are boring and frankly a little painful but I manage to get through the whole day now I walk through the same hallway I had yesterday on the way to Benny's office I stop before the door and knock. "Come one" Benny calls and I creek the door open Benny spins in his wheel chair and smiles at me "You look better today Sarah how are you feeling?" he asks I shrug "I'm ok" I answer slowly he nods. "Come sit here" he says patting the wheel chair next to him "I want to show you something" he says and I sit down next him groaning softly to myself from a shot of pain in my rib. I am sitting in front of a small flat screen that has a key board in front of it but the buttons are not like the ones on a normal computer.

The screen shows an image of the woman I killed yesterday. "What is this?" I ask not turning my eyes away "This is how I made her" Benny says I look at him and cock my head to the side "How did you make her look so realistic?" I ask "Like this" Benny smiles and he clicks buttons and shapes and faces and eyes and features it looks only a little more complex than designing a human on one of those video games children play. The is no doubt he has done this a thousand times I can tell by the speed of his hands on the keyboard I watch as he recreates the woman putting her in a different dress adding small details to make her skinny and her hair knotted. I frown I just don't understand how she can go from the screen to reality.

"Now watch" Benny says and I do I watch as he presses a big button on a different panel and the girl comes to life by my side I jump away from her but Benny touches my shoulder to calm me down. I look back at the woman she looks different she doesn't have a wild and fierce look in her eyes, she is not afraid and her eyes glow with life and strangely happiness "Hello" I say slowly wondering if she sounds the same she had but the woman doesn't reply I cock my head to one side. "She spoke to me" I say not turning to look at Benny I hear him fiddle and click the buttons then her mouth widens into a small smile and as Benny says "Hello" so does she. I turn back to look at Benny surprised he wears a mouth piece and the computer screen shows different voice types to choose from, different accents, ages and depths. I look back at the woman and reach out a hand touching her hair I shoot my hand away in shock it feels real like I am simply touching one of my friend's hairs.

"She feels so real" I say it more to myself but Benny answers "Yeah she was kinda designed to" I look at him "How does it even work?" I ask he shrugs. "It's the same kind of idea as a projector" he says as he points at a projector on the table "I like to think of it as an HD projector or like 4D" he says sounding kind of proud. "Spies keep this kind of technology a secret?" I ask he nods with a smile "We do but not all of it in fact most useful things we use today were developed by spies" he says and I nod. "So why were these produced?" I ask gesturing to the projector he shrugs "Well just think how useful they are in missions you could create another one of you or whatever you wanted.

"But if you could do that then why don't we just send these into mission instead of us?" I ask Benny smiles "They cannot defend themselves against real people" he says my eyes widen "She couldn't heart me" I whisper "No" he says "But what about the man in my obstacle course he knocked me right off Shadows back" Benny laughs at me "No he didn't you jumped off in order to prevent impact." I frown and shake my head "Hear watch" he says and he clicks more buttons until I am on the screen sitting on Shadow's back I watch the man as he comes lunging toward me and watch as I dive aside to prevent being hit. "I guess your reflexes are so fast not even you notice them" Benny says I shrug and laugh "Guess so" I say. "Is there a way to identify if they are real or not?" I ask Benny nods seeming excited he walks over to the woman who still stands next to me. "Can you see this?" he asks and he points at something but I cannot see it I get out of my seat and walk over to him.

I follow the direction he is pointing and I see it the light on her skin it is literally shining if I weren't looking for it I would never see it. Her skin looks like she shimmers just the slightest bit "And the eyes from father away you wouldn't be able to see it but if you look closer they have an unnatural kind of ring around the colour I look closer and I see the ring around the coloured part of her eye and I feel like laughing how did I not notice these things. Not even when I see her deathly cold eyes every time I close mine. Benny smiles and I look at him "Why do you do this?" I ask after a while "What design them?" he asks. "No why work here when you could rather work in the real world in the field?" I ask his smile fades and is replaced with a strange expression.

"For many reasons" he says "For one thing the real world is a terrible place to be in business" he sits as he talks "And for another I was never meant for the field". I raise my eyebrows "What does that mean?" I ask and he smiles a little "Let me put it like this; Sasha your friend she's like me she is not meant for the field but rather for what goes into putting a spy in the field, like the since and technology of it all". I frown "So what you're saying is there is more than just one type of spy?" he nods "Sure let's put it like that, you see Sasha is a different kind of spy to Beth, Clue and you" he says. "Ok so what type of spies are we then?" I ask sitting back down now well I would say Beth is more fielding than anything else she does well working with weapons and reacting quickly" he says and I nod agreeing "Clue is what we call a visual spy she watches surveys and then works she doesn't just react like Beth and she doesn't calculate like Sasha" he says and I agree with him again.

"What about me?" I ask slowly "Well you are one of the more unusual kinds of spies you are more a mixture of all these things you see the biggest difference with you and your friends is that your friends need each other to make a team you don't, you already are a team" he says and I nod not sure what to say. "So are those the only types of spies then?" I ask slowly "No there are too many to name but those are the more commonly known" he says and I nod again only semi understanding.

My phone in my pocket buzzes and I know it's time for dinner I sigh "Sorry I have to go" I say getting out of my seat. He nods with a little knowing smile as I exit the room in a hurry to find my friends. As I walk toward the main house my mind buzzes with new information so much so, that I cannot think of anything else.

I sit at the dresser on Wednesday morning staring at my aunt's necklace I run a brush through my hair but it's only really for the benefit of my friends. I have to tell Zach today I just am not sure when and how "You ready?" Beth asks snapping me out of my day dream I put the brush down on the dresses and turn to look at her with a smile "Sure let's go" I say. She smiles back at me and turns toward the door before I stand to follow her I grab the necklace and hide it under my shirt.

As usually the dining hall is buzzing with conversation as we sit down together "So what's the deal with you and Alex Sasha?" Beth asks flashing her a grin Sasha blushes and busies herself by pushing her hair behind her ear. "What do you mean?" she asks as casually as she can I roll my eyes "Come on we know you have a thing for him" I say nudging her on the shoulder. She hesitates but only for a second before she half jumps out of the seat in excitement "Do you think he has a thing for me?" she asks I look at Beth before I shrug and say "Can't tell for sure but there is a pretty good chance" I say. Beth agrees with a little nod and says "You guys do make a cute couple" she adds Sasha nods "I know!" she says excitement flowing through her tiny body.

My first class is weaponry, I walk with Beth and Clue down one of the garden paths. "Well see you guys" Beth says turning left after a while I nod and smile as she walks away before continuing along the walk way Clue turns right soon after and I am left to walk the rest of the way alone. "Hey" Tony says as I round the corner to weaponry he stands beside me with a smile on his face I smile back "Hey" I answer. "Ok class pick up a gun" the teacher shouts at us I follow the crowd to the table where the identical guns are lined up my hand lingers above one before I wrap my fingers around it "Last lesson you learnt how to assemble it today you will be firing" the teacher calls instinctively we line up before the targets lined against the wall Tony takes the one next to me silently he's a little older than me so there is no doubt he has probably already learnt how to do this already.

I follow the teacher's instructions and stand square facing the board I hold the gun up the way he told us to and fire the bullet misses the target completely and hits the wall above it I can feel Tony's eyes on me so I try again but the same thing happens. "Here hold it like this" Tony says as he comes up behind me to wrap his long fingers around my hand he adjusts the way I hold it and how I stand. "Ok try now" he says but he doesn't move away he just rests his hands on my hips and watches as the bullet sinks into the rim of the target I get this strange rush of excitement and he laughs a little "Ok now if you close one eye it might be easier to see where you want the bullet to hit I nod and try again this time the bullet gets a little closer to the centre of the target.

"Good keep trying that" Tony says and he walks slowly back to his own target I do keep trying and by the end of the lesson I have gotten two in the middle of the target. I walk quickly to combat class behind a group of giggly girls all of whom have bouncy blond hair, I can still hear their laughing when they turn left and I continue to the combat class. The young instructor is already standing in the combat side of the class waiting for the class to line up silently. "Today you will be having matches" he says and we all know he means we will be fighting against each other again he points at the board on the other end of the room where all our names are paired everyone immediately start talking. "Alright quiet the first pair on the mates!" he shouts over the chatter I watch as two girl come forward and give each other weak smiles before they start circling. The one with bouncing red curls is much quicker than the other one and I find it hard to even follow her movements all I see is the reaction, the other girl lies flat on her back in a moment and stays down for five counts which makes the instructor blow his whistle to stop the fight.

A few other pairs go before me I am paired with Andy but I haven't a clue who that is I can hear some of the girls and boys whispering about something about the pairs not being fair that there is a definite winner every time but they say nothing until I am called up. I see Any come to stand on the mate he is much taller than me probably almost double my body weight he is most defiantly much stronger than me the chatter dies down but only for about a minute "These pairs aren't matched evenly" someone speaks up from the students. Or instructor's eyes skim through them until he find the girl who spoke "Ok everyone take a seat" the instructor says and we all sit on the mate in front of him. "Do you think the people in the real world care if they are as strong or as weak as you?" he asks and the class is silent "Do you think they care if you are half their size, they care if you a girl or if you only a child?" he says and again he is met with silence "They don't care" he says firmly "And the only way you survive out there is if you are prepared now!" he shouts this. "Right now you had best go get dressed and I suggest between now and your next class you think about this" he says. We all get up and for the first time since I've been here the entire class walks silently to the showers.

I am the first of the girls ready and I quickly run out the door of the barn I catch sight of Zach making a left on one of the paths "Zach!" I shout and I run to catch up with him when he stops and turns to look at me. "Sarah you- he starts but I wave him away before he can continue "I have already figured out you don't want to talk to me in public I get it but… just meet me here at dinner time" I say backing away from him slowly I wait for him to nod before I turn and start toward the dining hall for lunch. People crowd the dining hall causing there to be a noise of discussion but I still manage to find my friends amongst them.

The rest of my day hadn't been all that event full but now I walk silently along the paths to where I told Zach to meet me it is not dinner time yet but I want to be here before him so I sit down on the bench silently waiting not sure if he will even come. "Hey" I hear his voice first I turn to look at him in shock, he is so silent footed I didn't even hear him arrive "Hey" I say slowly as he comes to sit next to me on the bench. "I have to talk to my aunt" I say slowly and he raises his eyebrows at me "What do you plan to say?" I think for a minute because I have no idea what I plan to say "I don't know but I need you to come with me" I say slowly Zach shakes his head "When?" he asks I shrug "As soon as possible" I say slowly "Sarah what do you hope to get out of this?" he asks bluntly "I don't know I just have to do it" I say "And you think having me there is going to help you how exactly" he asks and I freeze for a moment all of a sudden angry.

"What is the matter with you?" I ask trying not to sound snappy "Nothing Sarah I am just trying to see how this involves me" he says "Well I needed help from a friend but I don't know why I thought you were my friend when you act like you don't know me in front of people!" I say to him jumping off the bench Zach shakes his head and looks at me "You can't say that Sarah!" he snaps back "Why not?" I ask "Because you don't understand" he says and now he stands close so I can see the darker wring of blue in his eyes, before I can answer he turns and walks away and it is as though he was never there. I am so furious I just walk through the dining hall and up the stairs without looking at anyone I shove my ear phones in my ears and don't talk to my friends when they come up stairs to the dorm room.

It is the day before the end of term and I stand outside searching for Zach I saw him leave the dining hall only moments ago and I know what I want to say to him this time but he seems to have simply just disappeared. I catch sight of him sneaking into the horse barn we have a free day today so I guess I should have expected him to go riding, I don't run to get there but I entire the barn quickly. "Then make me" I say though I know he probably won't understand what I mean, he stands with his back to me saddling up his horse he is not shocked to hear my voice and without turning to look at me he says "Make you what?". I step closer slightly "Make me understand" I say slowly he is quite for a moment "I can't" he says slowly "But I can tell you thus" he says turning around finally. He stands in front of me looking into my eyes with a strange intensity. "It would be in your best interests to avoid me" he says this time quietly. I narrow my eyes at him trying to make sense of what he just said "If you didn't want to be friends with me you could have just said" I say slowly and quietly.

"I know and I would've if I didn't want to" he says I frown confused I don't know what he is trying to tell me "I don't understand what you are trying to tell me" I say "I know" is all he says "So… tell me" I say he smiles at me and shakes his head "I can't" he says softly "Why not" I say. He shrugs "Because I can't break even more rules than I have" he says "What rules have you broken?" I ask only getting more and more confused "Falling for you" he says and I freeze for a moment "Why couldn't you?" I ask "Because it is spy 101 not to fall for the subject" he says. I sigh a subject was a person a mission was about "So what mission am I the subject of?" I ask and he shakes his head "That's what I can't tell you but like I said it would be in your best interest to avoid me" he says slowly. I shake my head "Then screw my best interests" I say and he laughs it is a strange laugh, sad but kind of happy at the same time.

"Trust me I am the last person you want be around right now" he assures me and I just shrug "I couldn't care less about that" I say firmly and before I can continue he hooks his finger under my chin and tilts my head up. His eyes stay fixed on mine as he slowly, gently presses his lips to mine my body relaxes and I let my eyes slide shut as I wrap my arms around his neck. His right hand is in my hair and his left hand clutches my waist holding me close to him, it all confuses me so much, what he said and the kiss, his behaviour and Lila but I don't care in that moment I am peaceful and happy.

I stand outside the principal's office looking at the sign on the door Zach is by my side no one seems to notice us but there aren't that many students around. "Ready?" Zach asks I look at him and he looks at me I don't say anything I just nod. Zach lifts his hand to the door and knocks twice. "Come in" principle Bern calls I open the door and step in the office hesitantly Teresa (principle Bern) looks up and smiles brightly at me "Hello Sarah I haven't seen you in a while" she says then her eyes trail to Zach and he smile falters but only slightly "Mr Motet" she says and Zach only nods. "How can I help the two of you today" she asks her eyes back on me I look nervously back at Zach and he nods but only slightly. "I think I have something that belongs to you" I say surprised at how steady my voice sounds, Teresa frowns but I don't stop I just take the necklace off my head and put it gently down on her desk. She looks at the necklace in surprise she knows exactly what it means.

"So you've figured it all out have you?" she asks "Well the fact that your my aunt" I nod "Sit" she says gesturing to the two seats in front of her desk Zach and I follow her order and take our seats. "Is that why you invited me here?" I ask "Listen Sarah I will be happy to answer all your questions as I am sure you have many however I think your mother should be here" she says and before I can say anything she picks up her cell and dials the number pressing it to her ear. I wait wide eyed unable to say anything as she speaks into the phone to my mother who sits on the other end of the line probably freaking out. She puts the phone back down on her desk and I feel stiff and numb as she says "Your mother got into town yesterday she can be here in twenty minutes" she says I stay silent unable to do anything else "Thank Zach you may leave now, I am sure your friend will catch you up later" she says and I watch as he nods, gets up and leaves in silence.

I turn to look at her again "Sarah I am very glad to see you have made so many lovely friends here however I have to warn you against that one" she says and I feel almost angry as I look at her in surprise, I have a lot I want to snap back at but instead I figure it is safer to stay silent. So we wait for what feels like ever for the secretory to bring my mother into the room. I turn to look at my mother's worried face, she looks from my aunt to the necklace and back to me and all she says is "Oh God". She doesn't hesitate any longer she just sits down in the seat next to me "Gavin will be here as soon as he can but it is probably best to start without him anyway" my mother says Principle Burns just nods.

"Ok" my mother says sighing and looking at me "I think it is best I tell you the story from the beginning" she says and I stay silent. "Your father and I were students at these school, St Johns and Mathews


End file.
